Worst Jokes Ever
My current love life is like a god. It’s not real.
Why are there 30 bullets in one clip?
Because that's the average classroom size.
Why did the orphan become a str1pper?
So she can have someone to call daddy.
A man is talking to his doctor after undergoing a whole range of tests to try and find out what’s wrong with him.
The doctor sits him down and says, “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but the results are back, and I’m afraid it’s fatal.”
“Oh no!” exclaims the man, “How long do I have?”
“Ten,” says the doctor.
“What, years? Months?!”
“Nine...”
Why is it hard to break up with a Japanese girl?
Because you have to drop the bomb twice for her to get it.
What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on the bench?
The NBA.
What do you call a toy that has a story?
Toy Story.
Women are like towers, the man wants to bang them both.
My great-great-great grandpa killed Hitler.
I asked my mom why dad was so pale and sick. She said, "Shut the fuck up and keep digging!"
Why don’t violists play hide and seek?
Because no one will look for them.
What happens to grapes when you step on them? They wine.
Why do blondes make bad bank robbers?
Because they tie up the safe and blow the guards.
Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles their balls.
Child abortion is like tax evasion: the more you lose, the less problems you have.
Ctrl, Alt, Deletus, because of thine fetus.
Found this girl in Hawaii.
Put a stick up her ass and she said, "Ayi."
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Follow the fresh prints.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.
I can swallow two pieces of string and when they come out the other end, they'll be tied together. I shit you knot.