Worst Jokes Ever
Two guys watching a war movie at a bar are talking. One says to the other, "The Nazis starved my dad to death in a concentration camp during the war."
The other says, "My dad died in a camp as well... he broke his neck."
First guy says, "How did he break his neck?"
Second guy says, "He fell out of the guard tower."
Which one would be better to fuck, a fat bitch or a skinny bitch?
So I told the officer, "I can't even walk when I'm sober."
What do emo kids like to smoke?
"Marjuanakillmyself."
Why don’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
Why was Six afraid of Seven?
Because 7 was accused of the murder of 26 children.
(Bully) Boy, you ugly!
(Me) Boy, shut up, that's why your hairline start at the back of your head.
Why did the orphans miss most of the basketball games?
They missed the homecoming games.
Girlfriend: "Would you still love me if I was a figment of your imagination?"
My schizophrenic ass: Of course I would.
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
Why can't an orphan get 5 stars in GTA? Because they are not wanted.
Why are Americans so good at Rubik's Cubes?
They are skilled at separating colors.
What is the point of buttchins?
To catch flies.
Your Mama so fat, when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed but the sidewalk cracked up.
What did the evil chicken lay?
Deviled eggs.
What do Spider-Man and orphans have in common?
There’s no way home.
A man is talking to his doctor after undergoing a whole range of tests to try and find out what’s wrong with him.
The doctor sits him down and says, “I’m so sorry to have to tell you this, but the results are back, and I’m afraid it’s fatal.”
“Oh no!” exclaims the man, “How long do I have?”
“Ten,” says the doctor.
“What, years? Months?!”
“Nine...”
What's a footlong and slippery?
A slipper.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Follow the fresh prints.
I used to date a girl with a lazy eye. Turns out she was seeing someone else the whole time.