Worst Jokes Ever
Helicopter, helicopter, Kobe Bryant in my chopper, Sitting next to burning daughter, Lots of smoke and little laughter.
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help her check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye.
But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses it...
Why can’t Michael Jackson go within 500 meters of a school?
Because he’s dead.
What passengers were happy that the Titanic sank?
The lobsters in the kitchen.
What's the difference between a black person and an apple?
An apple chooses to hang.
Papyrus: HUMAN, WHY ARE YOU SAD?
Me: I'm just BONELY.
Sans: Good one kiddo.
What's a kind of cat that lives in the water? Octopus.
What’s one good thing about a pedophile?
They drive slow in school zones.
What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful!
There were four men eating dinner on the Titanic when it hit the iceberg.
The waiter said, "We have to get to the lifeboats!"
The teacher said, "What about the kids?"
The lawyer said, "Fuck the kids."
The priest said, "Do you think we'll have time?"
What has four legs and one arm?
A rottweiler at a park.
Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”
What's stiff and 6 inches long?
SIDS.
Why do bees sting?
Because they're pricks.
Why do a pedophile love Halloween?
Free delivery.
What do you call 2 octopuses that look the same? Identical!
Where does an octopus put its money? In an octo-purse!
Why did the Muslim man cross the road? To violently rape an eight-year-old girl, then indoctrinate her with Islamic scripture, and train her as a suicide bomber.
A man is walking into the woods with a young boy.
Boy: “Hey mister, it’s getting dark out and I’m scared.”
Man: “How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone.”
Someone dies.