Worst Jokes Ever
How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
8 jelly tickles!
So one day, I took a trip to Russia and saw Vladimir Putin walking in the streets without any bodyguards. Seeing as how I looked just like him, we switched places for a few days.
After two days, some officer came up to me and asked if we were going to project блять, and I said yes, and the officer said, "God help us."
So a day later, I heard on the news that every other continent and the moon were destroyed. I then approached the officer and said, "I thought you meant we were having a giant orgy." He said, "We did, and that we were extremely drunk."
I was digging in my garden when I found a treasure chest full of gold. I was about to run inside and tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging in my garden.
So, once upon a time, there was a man who lived in his house with his wife.
He got up to go out to work and closed the front door behind him.
Not even four seconds later, he came back inside panicking, saying, "There's a rabbit with a gun outside!"
The wife replied, "Oh, don't worry, rabbits don't have guns. They can't shoot people; you must be imagining things."
The man calmed down for a few minutes, and after some reassuring, he eventually decided to try to go back out to work again.
So he stepped outside the front door, and the rabbit shot him.
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No-eye-deer (no idea).
There is one difference between autistic kids and vegetarians.
They're both vegetables in serotonin ways.
What do you call Kyson when he is banned on PS4?
A depressed Indian boy.
God said the first person to kill Hitler goes to heaven.
Hitler: Kills himself.
A transgender woman with cancer of the tits only has to pay for half the operation.
What did the lion say to the lion tamer? Nothing, because when the lion tamer whipped the lion, the lion killed him.
Omg wassup dude, why does your hair look just like a young Whoopi Goldberg from "The Color Purple?" Them damn stanky looking corn bread rows on your head; you look like a damn cheetah pet. Che che che cheetah, they available at Wal-Mart, Dollar Tree, Target, and Kroger.
What's the difference between Jesus and a hooker?
The face you make when you nail them.
I wish my dog was depressed so she can cut her own nails.
This kid was going to sleep and he said, "Night, Mum. Night, Dad. And night, Grandma, and bye, Grandpa." The next morning, Grandpa died, and the next night he said, "Night, Dad. Night, Mum. Night, Grandma." Grandma died the next morning. The next night he said, "Night, Mum, bye, Dad," and they heard the postman died because he was the dad, lol.
Did you hear about the boy who sat under a cow?
He got a pat on the head.
Yo mama is so fat, when she came on this website, the whole server crashed!
They have blackboards and whiteboards, but what happened to Mexicanboards?
What's the difference between depression and a girl?
XXXTentacion can't seem to beat depression.
A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.
The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!
So many of these jokes are unoriginal, and you guys need to step up your game.