Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the accountant fall off his bicycle?
Because he lost his balance!
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is...
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He ran out of WiFi.
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the gay guy's house. Knock, knock. Who's there? Chicken.
Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?
What was David Bowie’s last hit?
Probably heroin.
Bread?
Question: "You're-a-American" when you're not in the restroom and when you come out of the restroom. What are you when you're in the restroom?
Answer: European (You're-a-peein')
Why did Sally drown in the pool?
She had no arms, remember.
Dang, it got ketchup on my sleeve. What do I do?
Spread the love!
Have you heard of the new book about anti-gravity?
Well, I just can't seem to put it down.
What job lets you kill the most people?
An abortion doctor.
What happened when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence? Complete and utter destruction.
Daddy bear said, "Somebody's been sleeping in my bed!"
Mummy bear said, "It was probably your whore, Linda!"
Where do you go if you lost a pencil?
Office Works! They have solved loads of pencil cases.
Dad, there was one day I was playing jump rope with a pig, and then I made pulled pork out of him.
Son, he is dinner.
What's the difference between Vikkstar and a tree?
Nothing. They're both hollow on the inside and brown on the outside.
What's red and runs up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
Why was Stephen Hawking late to the NASA meeting?
He couldn't get up the kerb.