Worst Jokes Ever

What has 5 legs, 3 arms, and 7 feet?

The finish line at the marathon bombing.

What does Adam look like?

The fat ginger baby of Boss Baby.

What do you call an Asian that steals cars? Tommy toke a motor.

I lent my sister my bed. The next morning, she told me it worked like a dream.

What is a home that can fly?

A magic house!

I want to do Uranus. (tounge emoji) (wet emoji)

A man came running into a hospital saying, "Doctor, Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"

The doctor replied, "I know I amputated your arms!"

Q: What did Jesus say when he got nailed to the cross?

A: Owwww!!!!!

My mom told me that she and the owner of a Chinese restaurant made a deal. Now we get free Chinese food. So I ask my mom why do we get free Chinese food? Then my mom said, "I love him long time."

Steven Hawking died. I said, "Why? Did his wheelchair break?"

When did the cheetah steal from the bakery?

On Black Friday!!!

Are you the Twin Towers? Because I would smash you.

Why are "Redneck" murder cases the HARDEST to solve?

Answer: Because ALL the DNA "Matches", and there are NO "Dental Records".

What is the difference between Chinese and Japanese?

Some smile, others beam.

You are fat.

Roses are red... blood is too... I wonder how blood would look on you.

What happened when two invisible giants knocked over their blocks?

9/11.

Yo mama so fat, she doesn't count as 1 person bro, she counts as 40 people.

What do you call the nun that hates?

For Paul Walker, Mother Teresa.

Orphan lady: Ok kids, someone donated groceries.

Orphans: YAY!

5 minutes later...

Orphans: Wait... where's the...

Orphan lady: *tries to hold daughter*

Person who donated: *holds milk in hand* hehe