Worst Jokes Ever
Girlfriend: "Would you still love me if I was a figment of your imagination?"
My schizophrenic ass: Of course I would.
What do you call a male prostitute in a bar...
Handy Andy.
Yo mama so fat, survivors of the Titanic said a fat girl on the bow was so heavy, the ship started to sink, but when she reached the stern, the ship split.
A priest says to me, "Come up, my child." Then I said, "Do I know you? Because you're not my father."
Why can't an orphan get 5 stars in GTA? Because they are not wanted.
Q: Why are Americans so good at Rubik's cubes?
A: 'Cause they have a history of separating colors.
What do you call a sped kid in a wheelchair that caught on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Whoever said white people can't jump obviously hasn't seen the 9/11 footage.
What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?
The apple... the emo just hangs there.
Why were there so many victims in the Grenfell flat fire disaster in London?
All the exit signs were in English.
What do you get if you cross an avocado and a Glock?
Glockamole.
LewenGOALski
What do Special Ed kids and fast kids have in common? They like to do things sped up.
Yo mom's so old, she was happily accepted into the museum.
Son: Dad, what's dark humor?
Dad: Do you see the guy over there with no arms?
Son: No, I'm blind.
What falls down the building and doesn't get up again?
An emo.
I am whooping my doge's a$$. If you like, you can free him.
I'm sorry, orphans, that you're getting bullied. Oh, I have to go, my MOM's calling me. We're going on a road trip to go to a FAMILY reunion!
Your hairline goes so far back that even God said, "I learned about it in my days."
Why are Asians so bad at baseball? ... Because they ate the bat!