Worst Jokes Ever
Michael Jackson, who's terrified of adult women, once had a girlfriend, but broke it off with her. When she asked him why, he said, "It's not you, it's me-hee-hee."
I don't like consistency. Last night, I spent three hours looking at a room and thinking, "I need a flower pot here, and the couch should be on the right." Eventually, the police arrived and led me away from my neighbor's window.
What do you call a movie at Bill Cosby’s house?
Netflix and pill.
You are so ugly, Hello Kitty said goodbye.
If I had a garden, I would put your tulips against my tulips... 🌷
You're so fat that you only know 3 letters: KFC.
What is Saturn's favorite movie?
Lord of the Rings.
What's a mentally retarded person's favorite color? Clear.
What do the twin towers and genders have in common? They used to be two, but now they're a sensitive subject.
What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?
Someone: Ugly?
Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.
What's a cannibal's favourite drink?
A Bloody Mary.
The twin towers are just like my mom and dad, they went to work and never came back.
If I send a clown to deliver flowers to my wife...
...is that a romantic jester?
What do you call people who jump into the Hoover Dam?
Dam fools.
I was at an emotional wedding. The cake was in tiers.
Why can't people with Tourette's learn to drive?
Because they'll cause a car crash.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable.
"I hope my death would make more sense than my life."- Joker
White girl: So this crystal cures my depression and helps me lose weight?
Me holding a rock of meth: YES!!!
Roses are red, violets are blue, the last time people got depressed ended World War II.