Worst Jokes Ever
So I told the officer, "I can't even walk when I'm sober."
A child, molester, and priest walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
How did the Emo kid bag all the cheerleaders?
He hit them all when he started shooting his shot.
Why do orphans go to church?
So they can call someone father!
Your Mama so fat, when she fell on the sidewalk, nobody laughed but the sidewalk cracked up.
What do Spider-Man and orphans have in common?
There’s no way home.
Why that Nun didn't like Virgin Mary?
Because she was straight into Jesus.
Have you ever eaten African food?
109 countries can't be wrong. Watch Europa: The Last Battle.
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
A vegan and a transgender jump off a cliff to see who will hit the bottom first.
Who wins?
Society.
Water was found on Mars.
Mars: 1 Africa: 0
What does a blowjob and a bonus check have in common?
Someone’s always willing to blow your bonus.
Why is a ghost so predictable?
Because you can see right through it.
How do you piss off a midget?
Give them a yo-yo and tell them to play with it.
What do you call a child version of Batman?
The Raped Crusader.
What's the difference between a gay rooster and a straight rooster?
Straight rooster says, "Cock-a-doodle-doo."
A gay rooster says, "Any cock will do."
"Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.
That's what Elliot Rodger did.
My dog is called Syndrome. He jumps up at me and I shout, "Down, Syndrome! Down, Syndrome!"
Which scary movie did the bear refuse to watch?
The Bear Witch Project.