A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "May I have a bottle of arsenic, please?" She is shocked. "Why would you want something like that?" The man calmly tells her, "I want to poison my unfaithful wife and her lover." The pharmacist is now horrified. She said, "I can not possibly give you that. It is completely illegal and I would lose my license and be prosecuted for conspiracy and murder!" At this point the man hands the pharmacist a photo of his unfaithful wife having sex with the pharmacist's husband. She examines it then looks up at him. "Oh. I didn't know you had a prescription."
Worst Jokes Ever
In English class, the teacher says, "Kids, you need to say the alphabet. Okay, Sally, you first." Sally says, "Okay, a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z." The teacher says, "Good job, Sally." Then the teacher called on four other students who got it right. Then the teacher called on Little Johnny. The teacher says, "Little Johnny, say the alphabet." Little Johnny says, "b c e f g h i j k l m n o p s v w x y z." The teacher says, "No, Johnny, that's not right." Johnny says, "Oh, I forgot, u r a q t." The teacher says, "No, still not right, and thank you." Johnny says, "Oh, I’ll give you the d later." The class laughs and the teacher says, "Go to the office now."
How do you know when Helen Keller is home?
Answer: When you hear somebody falling down the stairs!
What did the receptionist at the sperm bank say when you were leaving? "Thanks for coming!" 😉😉
Why would a vegetarian never moan during sex?
They don't wanna admit that a piece of meat made them happy.
When a mute girl gives a hand job, is it oral?
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex on a scale of 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, and she kept shouting “9!”
That's the best I've done so far.
The people in Florida yelling "White Power!" is amusing, because when they get permanent sunburn from the Florida sun, they are not white anymore.
What's the traditional food of Black Jews? - Kosher watermelon...
Friends call me crack miser, whatever I snort. My brain starts to distort! I'll be in court.
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian said, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
What's yellow but can't swim?
A bus full of children.
I'm just here to say that I don't approve of political jokes.
I've seen too many of them get elected.
For Sale: Parachute. Used once, never opened, small stain.
How do you get a Koala to fall asleep?
Sing a koala-by.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
What did the cop say after he shot the ginger?
"I guess orange is the new black."
I tried phone sex once. But the holes were too small.
Isn't it strange that the LGBTQ flag only has straight lines?
Leave a like down below if you think Stephen Hawking should stand for the National Anthem.
