A man walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, "May I have a bottle of arsenic, please?" She is shocked. "Why would you want something like that?" The man calmly tells her, "I want to poison my unfaithful wife and her lover." The pharmacist is now horrified. She said, "I can not possibly give you that. It is completely illegal and I would lose my license and be prosecuted for conspiracy and murder!" At this point the man hands the pharmacist a photo of his unfaithful wife having sex with the pharmacist's husband. She examines it then looks up at him. "Oh. I didn't know you had a prescription."
When a mute girl gives a hand job, is it oral?
How do you know when Helen Keller is home?
Answer: When you hear somebody falling down the stairs!
What did the receptionist at the sperm bank say when you were leaving? "Thanks for coming!" 😉😉
What's the traditional food of Black Jews? - Kosher watermelon...
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex on a scale of 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, and she kept shouting “9!”
That's the best I've done so far.
The people in Florida yelling "White Power!" is amusing, because when they get permanent sunburn from the Florida sun, they are not white anymore.
A priest was driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.
The cop asked him if he had anything to drink. The priest said just water.
The cop said, "Then why can I smell wine?"
The priest said, "Good Lord, it happened again!"
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian said, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back."
What's yellow but can't swim?
A bus full of children.
Friends call me crack miser, whatever I snort. My brain starts to distort! I'll be in court.
I'm just here to say that I don't approve of political jokes.
I've seen too many of them get elected.
For Sale: Parachute. Used once, never opened, small stain.
How do you get a Koala to fall asleep?
Sing a koala-by.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream?
He got hit by a bus.
What did the cop say after he shot the ginger?
"I guess orange is the new black."
I tried phone sex once. But the holes were too small.
Isn't it strange that the LGBTQ flag only has straight lines?
Leave a like down below if you think Stephen Hawking should stand for the National Anthem.
What game does an emo hate the most?
Cut the Rope.
