Worst Jokes Ever
Santa was asked to describe Mrs. Claus in three words. His response was, "Ho ho ho."
Roses are red, life has no meaning, voices in my head, are constantly screaming.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I buttfucked Scooby Doo.
What is a Manchester United fan’s favourite TV channel? The History Channel.
I hate my wife.
A little boy and a little girl are taking a bath together. The little girl looks down at the boy and says, "Can I touch it?" The little boy looks back at her and says, "Hell no, you already broke yours off!"
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell off and bumped his head.
The momma called the doctor and the doctor said...
“We’re calling Child Protective Services.”
Donald Trump is proud of being white, which is strange, considering he's orange. Makes you wonder why he didn't pull a Michael Jackson and bleach his own skin....
Why doesn’t the US want to play chess with the UK?
The US is already down 2 towers, and the UK has an unkillable queen.
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a depressed person?
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again.
Why does Donald Trump have a fervent crush on the Russian president?
He is Putin his dick where it don't belong!
Do you know a way to really freak out someone that works at a car dealership?
You say, "Tell me if you can hear me," then get in the trunk and start screaming.
Two men were talking about their wives. The first man says, "My wife is an angel." The second man says, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big, fat blow job.
What's green and smells like pork? Kermit's finger.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
Me: spreading positivity.
Everyone else at the HIV testing center.
A depressed boy went to high five a tree, guess what the tree did?
The tree left him hanging.
A priest was driving down the road when a cop pulled him over.
The cop asked him if he had anything to drink. The priest said just water.
The cop said, "Then why can I smell wine?"
The priest said, "Good Lord, it happened again!"
How Chinese is COVID? About the same as those red MAGA hats made in China.