Worst Jokes Ever
I used to have confidence issues because of my learning disability.
Until someone told me I put the sexy in dyslexia.
Did you know a full moon is perfect for a werewolf to come out?
I’m gay.
Me: Mom, would you get mad at me for something I didn't do?
Mom: No.
Me: Ok, good. I didn't do my homework.
It’s really hard to maintain a good body lately, unless you put it in a freezer.
A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”
Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.
What did the taco say to the Sea Turtle? I like your shell!
What's the difference between a six-year-old and a submarine?
I've never been inside a submarine.
Why can't Michael Jackson go within 500m of a school zone?
Because he's dead.
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana.
Jack got high and grabbed Jill's thigh and said, "You know you wanna."
Jill said yes and lifted her dress so they could have some fun, but stupid Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
I had a very long dream that I was eating the most juiciest, tastiest meal I'd ever eaten in my life. Then when I woke up, my wife was gone.
I was in a library and a black guy came up to me.
"Where's the coloured printer?" he said.
"Mate, it's 2025, you can use any printer you want," I replied.
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
Why did the feminist cross the road?
To suck my dick!
When the school shooter is right outside the classroom window, and the autistic kid starts trying to say hello to him.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They put her in a circle room and told her to find the penny in the corner.
A guy stole my car last night. Before dialing 911 I thought, "Fuck it. Let him explain the dead bodies in the trunk."
When the school shooter is about to leave the room, then the autistic kid says, "Goodbye!"