Worst Jokes Ever
A guy barges into a psychiatrist’s office and screams, “Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!”
The doctor calmly answers, “Pay me in advance.”
what do you call an American looking at cloud shapes?
Oppenheimer
What's the difference between Ironman and Ironwoman?
One's a superhero, one's a command.
Gas is expensive nowadays.
In the 1940s, they got it for free.
"Babe, is it in?" "Yeah." "Does it hurt?" "Uh-huh." "Let me put it in slowly." "It still hurts." "Okay, let's try another shoe size."
What’s someone with AIDS' favorite Taylor Swift song?
"Baby, now we got bad blood."
What do you call a gay Eskimo?
A snow blower.
There are only 2 genders: if you have a dick, or a pussy.
I hate it when a couple has a minor quarrel, and the girlfriend updates her Facebook status to ‘single.’
I mean, I fight with my parents all the time, but I never update my status to ‘orphan.’
I went to the tattoo shop and asked for a skull.
A Jewish guy behind me said, "A skull? Back in my day, we could only get numbers!"
I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!
Yo momma's so fat, her shirt size has more X's than Taylor Swift.
Yo mom's so old, she was happily accepted into the museum.
When and where was the biggest BBQ ever?
Hiroshima, Japan 1946.
What was the orphan's name?
Jake! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣😂🤣🤣😂😂
So if you are bored, punch an orphan.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?🙄🙄
Why do orphans get to watch rated R movies? Because their parents can't stop them.
Why are Orphans so bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
"911, what’s your emergency?" I asked, listening to the quiet sobs of a little kid on the other end of the line.
“I think my daddy want to kill me,” the girl said and cried, making me freeze on the spot as I recognized my daughter’s voice.
Bestfriend @3am: I love you.
Me: Love you too.
*wait whatttttttttttttttttttt*
I don't know if this is funny.