Worst Jokes Ever
"Did you go to the light show?"
"Yeah, it was lit."
I was in a school shooting a few years ago, 3 people died.
I guess that’s what you get when you’re bad at hide and seek.
What do you call a group of black people in a shed?
Antique farm equipment.
I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.
I asked my mom what is dark humor. She said "see them boy over there in the wheelchair, ask him to walk." I said, "but I’m blind." She responded, "Exactly."
Son: Dad, I had sex for the first time.
Dad: Would you like to talk about it?
Son: Sure.
Dad: Sit down and let's talk about it.
Son: I can't, my butt hurts.
What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.
Here's a sex joke.
What's the best part of having sex with 28 year olds? There's 20 of them.
If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.
What do White Castle sliders and Michael Jackson have in common? They have their meat in tiny wet buns.
My initials are K.M.C.
Which could also stand for "Kill Main Character".
Which I am planning to do in this book I’m writing.
I’m writing an autobiography.
Q: What do you call a black prostitute in space?
A: The Blackhole.
What is an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
What do orphans and garbage have in common?
They’re both in the street, and no one wants to pick them up.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple's actually get picked.
Guys, we should not make fun of 9/11. Like, that stuff is just plain out crazy. Like, you all should not let that fly.
What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?
Panera dread.
Your hairline's so far back that Dora the Explorer couldn't find it.
What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?
Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.
What did the north tower say to the south tower during the summer? Get ready for fall!