Worst Jokes Ever

I got kicked out of the library because I put the woman's right book in the non-fiction section.

Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.

I went over to a crying child and said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at an orphanage!

What do you call a person in a wheelchair with a speaker?

Rolling Loud 🎸🎸

Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.

me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.

Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.

In reality, I like killing myself.

Yo mama so old, her birth certificate expired.

Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a school bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.

Ever wondered why my gay kids don't play basketball? Because they can't shoot the ball straight into the hoop.

Why is sucking cock inside the confessional booth the only thing that a catholic priest doesn't have to give up for lent?

Because catholic priests don't have to be vegetarians during lent.

What do you call an Asian telephone?

Ling Ling.

"Dad? What's dark humor?" "See that man with no arms over there, son, tell him to clap." "But daddy, I'm blind."

What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.

Michael Jackson has done something no one has ever done before. I'm not talking about his record sales or tickets sold.

I'm talking about being born a black man and dying a white woman. Incredible!

My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.

I guess making 9/11 jokes at the airport is better than shouting "He's got a gun!" at the airport.

What is red and cries and spins around and around?

- A baby in a microwave.

What’s a kid with Down syndrome's favorite candy... Grunts.

The Titanic is now a resort for fish.