Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Mexicans go to Area 51?
To show them what a real illegal alien looks like.
Yo mama so fat that she needs two watches for two different time zones.
Why did the astronaut return to Earth?
She went on her launch break! 🚀🥪😋
What is the smartest month?
April - No one can fool it.
A man walks into a magic forest, when he stumbles upon a talking tree and tries to cut it down. The tree says, "You can't cut me down, I'm a talking tree!" The man replies, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."
They say there’s a person capable of murder in every friendship group.
I suspected it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a guitar teacher? One likes to stroke his finger across A minor, and the other one plays guitar.
What kind of music do wind turbines like?
They are big, heavy metal fans!
Why can’t orphans learn about ancient Egypt?
Because they wouldn’t know what a mummy is.
Is it still stand-up comedy if the comedian doesn't have legs?
I'm so depressed that when I smile, my Face ID doesn't recognize me.
John Lennon: "What a nice view."
John walked outside.
He got shot.
:skull:
So, my friend and I were talking this time. I asked them what they would do if they ever met Rengoku. They said that they would probably like shake his hand or something, but I said I would lick his forehead. Wtf?
Today a child asked if I was an angel. I asked why, and he said, "Mommy says that angels have marks on their wrists because they don't want to be in this world."
Why does the United States have such a good military? Because they learn to dodge bullets in school.
What do you call a lesbian with braces? A box cutter.
How many brain cells does a pregnant blonde have?
Two, one for her and one for the baby.
What do leaves and suicidal people have in common? Nothing, one falls from the tree and one doesn't.
Donkeys are cool.
Little Johnny tried phone sex, but the holes were too small.