Worst Jokes Ever
My dad went out for milk. It's been 15 years and I still have to eat my cereal dry.
What has eight legs and leaves kids alone? The Jackson 4.
Do you know why 6 is afraid of 7? Why? Because 7 ate 9 (8).
Do you know why 10 is scared? Why? Because he is between 9 and 11.
Whatever happened to the emo? (wrong answer only)
Michael Jackson died of shock when he found out Boys II Men wasn't a delivery service.
Q: Why was the tower of Pisa leaning?
A: Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
My therapist once said, "time heals all wounds." So I stabbed him. Now we wait...
If messyourself was on the Titanic, he would die first.
What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?
Panera dread.
Your hairline's so far back that Dora the Explorer couldn't find it.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan? The apple's actually get picked.
What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?
Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.
I'm not saying you're ugly, but you're the reason God created miscarriages!
So today I heard a friend say she had a stalker. I can confirm I've never seen a stalker following her.
I hate jokes about 9/11... every joke has the tendency to crash and burn.
"I didn't get the joke at first, but then it hit me like a plane," the joke was so dark a cop almost shot it.
A few kids were talking about how big their houses were. Kids were pointing to huge houses and huge apartments. One little boy said, "Bet I have the biggest home." To everyone's surprise, he pointed right towards the massive orphanage.
Guys, we should not make fun of 9/11. Like, that stuff is just plain out crazy. Like, you all should not let that fly.
My wife left a note on the fridge that said, "This isn't working." I'm not sure what she's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it's working fine!
What do you call a selfie that is taken by an orphan?
Answer: A family photo.
What did the orphan say to the other? "Quickly Robin, to the Batmobile!"