Worst Jokes Ever
I have a lot of respect for trans women.
That surgery takes balls!
I started a new job. My boss said, "Hi, my name is Rebecca, but people call me Becky." I said, "My name is Kyle, but people call me Dick."
She said, "How do you get Dick from Kyle?" I replied, "You just ask nicely."
What is red and cries and spins around and around?
- A baby in a microwave.
Why are orphans bad at poker? Because they don't know what a full house is.
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
Some people say I like heights; others say I'm a daredevil.
In reality, I like killing myself.
Ever wondered why my gay kids don't play basketball? Because they can't shoot the ball straight into the hoop.
Why is sucking cock inside the confessional booth the only thing that a catholic priest doesn't have to give up for lent?
Because catholic priests don't have to be vegetarians during lent.
What do you call an Asian telephone?
Ling Ling.
What do you call an orphan's family reunion?
Me time.
What song did the Titanic victims listen to as they died?
Ice, Ice Baby!!
I was sitting at a bench at the park and saw a lady. She asked which kid was mine, and I responded, "I haven't decided yet."
What is the difference between hungry and horny?
The cucumber goes to different places.
I went over to a crying child and said, "Where are your parents?" God, I love working at an orphanage!
"Dad? What's dark humor?" "See that man with no arms over there, son, tell him to clap." "But daddy, I'm blind."
me: calls suicide hotline. hotline lady: suicide hotline, how are you doing today? me: not much, just hanging.
Why do orphans always have the newest iPhone?
Because it doesn’t have a home button.
What do an open champagne bottle and an orphan have in common? They both lost their pop.
Michael Jackson has done something no one has ever done before. I'm not talking about his record sales or tickets sold.
I'm talking about being born a black man and dying a white woman. Incredible!
My woman is a nine on a bad day, but she’ll be 10 on her birthday.