Worst Jokes Ever
I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.
Blue Takis?
What do you call it when a man is scared in Panera Bread?
Panera dread.
What is the toughest thing about living a vegan life?
Getting up at 5am to milk the almonds.
Whatever happened to the emo? (wrong answer only)
Q: Why was the tower of Pisa leaning?
A: Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
My dad went out for milk. It's been 15 years and I still have to eat my cereal dry.
That poor kid, he was fine until I bought him a mother's day card for his mum. The second he saw it, he burst out crying...
Do you know why 6 is afraid of 7? Why? Because 7 ate 9 (8).
Do you know why 10 is scared? Why? Because he is between 9 and 11.
What is an orphan's family tree?
A stump.
If you're in Alabama, family reunions are basically speed dating events.
What has eight legs and leaves kids alone? The Jackson 4.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
Doesn’t matter, it won’t come to you.
What’s a kid with Down syndrome's favorite candy... Grunts.
I was in the mood for some dark meat, so I called my black friend.
I went to go hang out with the emo kids, but they already did.
What do you call a bunch of sheep rolling down the hill?
A. A lamb slide.
Here's a sex joke.
What's the best part of having sex with 28 year olds? There's 20 of them.
What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.
Once an orphan got a girlfriend. He regretted it. She left him too.