Worst Jokes Ever
Isn't Gwen the most thoughtful person?
What's the difference between Madeline McCann and Batman? Batman returns.
Friend: I'm gonna go ask out my crush.
Me: *fake sneezes* Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
What did the woman on the beach say to Michael Jackson? Hey, get out of my sun!
Yo mama so ugly, she went to the bathroom and scared the sh*t out of the toilet.
Friend: "You are so ugly." Me: "You can't be talking, you give Freddy Krueger nightmares."
I feel bad for the people who died in 2001. Those poor terrorists died doing their job.
The number 13? Not on my watch!
What's the difference between a Mexican and a frog?
One jumps in ponds, the other leaps over the border. :)
What are the three worst words to hear while you are having sex?
Honey, I'm home!
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
Why are there no good Indian actors? Because all the good ones are trying to get your bank details over the phone.
What do you call an emo filming their suicide?
America's Funniest Home Videos.
Chuck Norris can drift with a horse.
Abortion clinics are kind of like NAZI gas chambers. Less people come out than go in.
So I asked my mom for a bath bomb, she just gave me a toaster.
Dad: Son, who do you want to marry when you grow up?
Son: A ugly girl.
Dad: Why not a pretty girl?
Son: A pretty one might run away.
Dad: So an ugly one might too.
Son: Yeah, but who cares?
Roses are red, potato chips are savory...
The United States prison system is legalized slavery.
Nazis have marched in Melbourne. Are you sure Eric Clapton and Carrie Underwood are not touring in Australia?
I've realized that suicide would solve all my problems... if I could just get the right people to try it.