Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

I've always been suicidal. Some might say, "Why haven't I actually done the act?" I'll just say, well, I hate myself too much so I thought I'd stay around for the punishment of staying alive.

The woman saw a cute lookin' cop. She had pulled up right next to him and said, "Hey, can I get your number?" He said, "Yeah, it's 911," and drove off.

Q: Why was the depressed kid sad on Christmas?

A: They weren't hanging like the ornaments on a tree.

Friend: Stop with the self harm jokes, they're not funny.

Me: It's not that deep. I'll cut it out.

It's not funny to joke about orphans. Without any education, they'd never understand what the jokes mean.

Why don’t witches wear underwear?

To get a better grip on their broom.

How does a peadophile help a kid with maths? He adds the bed, divides the clothes, and multiplies with the whole classroom.