Worst Jokes Ever
Note to self.
When baking for the holidays, don't Google "creampies".
Google "cream pie recipes".
I went on a walk with a super pretty girl, then she saw me and it turned into a run.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because his wife changed the WiFi password.
Why don't North Koreans like jazz music?
Because they don't have soul.
Every zodiac sign has a hairstyle except for Cancer.
What kind of vacuum does an abortion center use? A: Dyson.
What did the orphan say to the crippled man?
I suffer from crippling depression.
Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his brother in the woods?
Why couldn't the astronaut put the helmet on his head?
Because he didn't have enough space.
What do you call a gay dinosaur?
A stego-sore-ass.
I pushed the kid in the wheelchair down the hill, but before I did, I set his wheels on fire and called him "hot wheels."
Your mum is so old that when I told her to act her age, she died.
White girl: So this crystal cures my depression and helps me lose weight?
Me holding a rock of meth: YES!!!
Is it still stand-up comedy if the comedian doesn't have legs?
Kelly Clarkson may be able to shed her weight [through pills], but she will never be able to shed the fact that she admitted herself that she molested her children when they were toddlers.
Why did the Japanese NOT shoot down the American plane that was dropping atomic bombs?
From what their eyes saw, it was a piece of rice.
My wife cheated on me with my brother.
She didn't have a sister, so I improvised, and now all I have to do is wait nine months for one to come.
Why did the hooker quit her job?
She had a nut allergy.
I realized that a really bad joke and my life are the exact same thing.
How many brain cells does a pregnant blonde have?
Two, one for her and one for the baby.