Worst Jokes Ever
When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.
Why do pedos like to lose races? Because they like to cum on a little behind.
Girlfriend after sex: How did you get so good at eating pussy?
Boyfriend: My mom taught me.
What do you call a fish with two knees?
Your mom's so heavy that it caused Atlas, the Titan, to slip a disc.
How does an octopus laugh? Buble buble.
Uranus floats around in space.
Yo mama's so fat, she irons her clothes on the driveway.
Sonic can run around the world in a second. I can do it in 0.5, but Chuck Norris has already done it before us.
I walked out of the electronic store and saw a midget carrying a big screen TV all by himself. He looked like he needed a hand, so I offered to help.
He said, "This is not a big screen TV, it's a Kindle!!"
Definition of trust: two cannibals having oral sex.
Why did Billy drop his ice cream?
'Cause he got hit by a bus.
I would tell a pussy joke, but you would never get it.
Why can't two Asians have a white baby?
Two wongs don't make a white.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are robbing a bank. The police are soon after them, so they hide in a bunch of barrels.
The police arrive and search the area. They come over to the barrel where the brunette is hiding and kicks it. The brunette says, "Woof."
"Oh, it's just a dog," says the police officer, and then kicks the second barrel where the redhead is hidden. The redhead says, "Meow."
"Oh, it's just a cat," says the officer, then kicks the last barrel where the blonde is hidden. The blonde says, "Potato."
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked at me surprised.
(P.S. I am not at that age plus I am as straight as a helix ruler.)
Stephen only died because his wife tripped over the power cord.
I've always wanted to WAVE to a dolphin, but it could never SEA me.
That dolphin is so WASHED up. WATER you say we get revenge?
GF: What did you use as kissing when you were little?
Me: My sister.
SWEET HOME ALABAMAA
A father is talking to his three kids.
Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.
Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?
Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!
Dad: Oh hey, Brick.