Worst Jokes Ever
Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil?
Because it’s pointless!
What do you call an orphan's family picture?
A selfie.
My enemy told me I’m adopted, so I told him at least I got adopted.
"Yo mama is so fat that when I buried her, she made the Earth round."
When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon.
And into a children's birthday party.
What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.
Q: How do you know there’s a party at Neverland Ranch? A: All the Big Wheels are parked out front.
Q: When do you know it’s over? A: Only one is left.
What’s the difference between cancer and my abusive stepdad?
My stepdad did beat cancer.
A man drinks beer and jumps off a tower, and he's okay. The other guy says, "Whoa, how'd you do that?"
He does it again, so the guy gets a beer, the same beer, and jumps off. He died.
The bartender looks at the original man who jumped off and says, "Superman, you're a real butthole whenever you're drunk."
Jack and Jill went up a hill to smoke weed.
Jack and Jill got high, and Jack ripped Jill's clothes right off her. Then Jill ripped Jack's clothes off. Jack, when they were fully naked, they started to kiss, but Jack stopped. Jill said, "I know you wanna." Jack said, "No," but Jill jumped on that candy stick anyway. Jack gave in to Jill.
Jill got off, then let Jack suck her candy stick. Jill sucked on Jack's candy stick.
Your forehead is so big that babies can use it as a full-sized football pitch!
Why do US suck at chess? We lost both our towers.
Why is England so good at chess? They still have their queen.
Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.
Yo momma so skinny, she wipes with floss!
Child: "Mom, what's an 'orgasm'?"
Mom: "I don't know, dear. Try asking your father."
People need to stop taking life so seriously. After all, no one gets out alive!
I was at a baseball game and I was wondering why the ball was coming closer.
And then it hit me.
There's nothing else that can beat up dog.
What's up, dog?
Just my depression!
Two hats are next to each other. One hat says to the other, "Stay here, I'll go on ahead."
How are a woman and a car alike? Put something in them and they'll both start.
What do dogs do when they lose their tail?
They go to the retail store.