Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a gay pride parade that was ran over?
Rainbow road.
House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.
Sans: "Like, I'm so *flabbergasted*."
Gaster: "👌☼⚐ ✌☼☜ ✡⚐🕆 💧☜☼✋⚐🕆💧 ☼✋☝☟❄ ☠⚐🕈✍"
What can jump higher than a basketball player?
An emo kid, they never touch the ground.
Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?
Doctor: To the morgue.
Man: But I’m not dead yet.
Doctor: Are we there yet?
I told my mom I'm happy and she said: "I didn't know you were gay."
I was outside digging a six-foot hole when I found a treasure box with jewels and shiny gems! I almost went inside to tell my wife, then I remembered why I was digging the hole.
Kid #1: You're adopted.
Kid #2: At least they wanted me.
Kid #1: Did your real parents want you?
A blonde accidentally kills a cop and calls the police.
She exclaims, “Hello, is this 911?”
The other person, “Yes, what is your emergency?”
The blonde answered, “I called to inform you that you’re 910 now.”
What did the blonde say when asked if her turn signal worked?
“Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, yes, no.”
Who is Bill Cosby’s favorite Disney princess?
Sleeping Beauty.
Why are carpenters never horny after work?
Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things.
My grandfather was the type of person who never threw anything away.
He died in World War II holding on to a hand grenade.
Banker: I have the right to take your money!
Me: Check my name.
Banker: Robin D. Bank, why?
Banker: *realizes*
Me: 😈🖐️ Gimme, gimme.
Why did the cheese fail the test? It couldn't make the grade, curd.
What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
What do you call a pile of cheese? A cheese grater.
Are your forehead and hairline old friends because they go way back?
I saw someone who was about to jump off a bridge. They were wearing a Nike "JUST DO IT" shirt.
Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?
He just needed a little space.
You're so wonderful that Wonderland booked tickets to meet you!