Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?
There is no difference.
What’s the best thing about fucking twenty-eight year olds?
There’s twenty of them!
Roses are red, Violets are blue... I fucked your mother's ass, and she had you.
What is a tree's favorite thing to drink?
Root beer.
How did Stephen Hawking die? Because he didn't charge his batteries.
Sand under docks is very resilient. It doesn’t give in to pier pressure.
What type of gun isn’t allowed in Africa?
A water gun.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell 'em to clap until their parents come home.
Q: Why can't dinosaurs clap?
A: Because they're dead.
A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship's wheel in his pants.
The bartender asks, "What's with the wheel in your pants?"
The pirate replies, "Yarrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"
Why doesn't Iran have any Walmarts?
Because they have a Target at every corner.
What did the terrorist do when his kidneys failed?
Dial-ISIS!
Q: What do you call a Mexican fighting a Catholic priest?
A: Alien vs. Predator.
As I grow older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe tour guide wasn't the right career choice for me...
Why can’t Chinese people have a white baby?
Because two wongs don’t make a white.
What do we want?!
A cure for Tourette's!!
When do we want it?!
Cunt!!!
How do you get a clown off your swing?
You shoot it.
Do you know who didn't graduate high school this year?
The Parkland kids.
Q: Why are gay people never late for their flight?
A: They get their shit packed the night before.
This person has Down syndrome.