Worst Jokes Ever
If you're ever bored, kick an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
Are you in the alphabet 'cause I wanna give you the D.
Why are hospitals always freezing?
They need to keep the vegetables cold.
I like my women how I like my cigars: 7 years old and coming from Cuban in a burlap sack.
How does the dog dance?
He doesn't... he's dead.
What do you call anal rape?
Ass cream.
*Knock Knock* Who's there? Social Services...
A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"
The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"
The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."
The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"
The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"
(Note: this joke is not one of the worst jokes ever because it is obscene or offensive; it’s just a bad joke.) Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they’re dead.
My mom said to let Jesus come inside me; now I can't sit down.
So, Dora is having a sleepover with her cousin Diego at Dora's house. Later that night, Dora's mom hears someone screaming, "Go Diego go!" for at least a couple of minutes, and then it stops, and she goes back to sleep.
But then she hears the same thing a couple of minutes later, so she walks in and hears "Go Diego go!" She walks over to Diego's sleeping bag and looks, and it's empty, so she walks over to Dora's sleeping bag and looks in and sees Dora getting f
... by Diego and hears Dora saying, "Go Diego go!" while moaning.
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
You know, when women clean their nails with chemicals, no one cares, but when Hitler tries to clean Poland with chemicals, everyone goes crazy.
It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.
I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.
Yeah, I’m LGBTQ.
LETS GO BULLY THE QUEERS!
Your momma so fat, when she stepped on the weighing scales, her phone number came up!
Feminism.
What is the most sensitive part of a man's anatomy while he's masturbating?
His ears.
What do you call a skinny black dick? A Tootsie Roll.
Two kids walked into a bar. They were covered with blood. The bartender asked what happened.
The youngest said, "Well, we were trying to paint our basement, but we threw the babies too hard!"