Worst Jokes Ever
Two's company, cheese a crowd!
I heard every single machine in the coin factory just broke down all of a sudden.
It just doesn’t make any cents!
This website sucks, it never cites the correct information.
What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter?
An irrel-elephant ;)
What does Vin Diesel eat for dinner?
Survival Guilt.
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is.
I did a walk today and I had to walk home from school and walk walk home from school and walk walk home from home and walk walk home and I had a good time with you and walk home from home and walk walk home and I had to.
Ever absorb Griffin?
Brady Quinn!!
Kid: I want to be Batman.
Okay, when he gets home, his parents are dead.
How did the tree get sick?
It got tinsel-itis.
Hey, you know those birds and lizards that feast on decaying flesh?
Oh, sorry, I shouldn't carrion about it.
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
Q: Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
A: She got hit by a bus.
What do you get when you eat a hamburger?
Mustard gas.
1979: I bet there will be "flying cars" in "the future."
2019: The flying cars future.
What kind of ankle are you? A broken ankle.
Yo, three kids play hide-and-go-seek. Their names are Trouble, Manners, and Shut Up.
Shut Up hit the police station, Manners hit the trashcan. Trouble is the seeker. When they go and hide and all that shit, the policeman comes up to Shut Up and goes, "Hey kid, what's your name?"
Well, Shut Up looks at him and goes, "Shut Up."
Policeman says, "Excuse me, kid, where's your manners at?"
Shut Up goes, "Oh, Manners? In the trash."
Policeman goes, "Oh, Manners in the trash? And then policeman goes, "Hey kid, are you looking for Trouble?"
Then Shut Up goes and says, "No, Trouble's looking for me."
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
What do you call a laughing motorcycle?
A Yamahahahaha!