Worst Jokes Ever
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't find a way home.
What is the bus?
What is long and hard and full of seamen?
A submarine.
Why can't vampires tell jokes right? All their jokes just SUCK.
What was Beethoven's favorite insect?
The bee! :0
What do you call security outside a Samsung store?
Guardians of the Galaxy.
Why did the little boy cry?
He had a frog nailed to his face and stapled to each of his fins. The frogs were his personal molesters.
Why did the skeleton not listen to the rules?
He was "bone tiba wild."
Knock knock.
"Cow goes."
No, silly, cows go moo!
Random kid: Yo mama so stupid that she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Orphan: What's a mama?
Random kid: *shook*
I'm so poor that when people come over to my house, I come out the window and say, "Ding Dong!"
I recently saw a pun contest in NYC. The owners said there was a maximum of 10 puns that I could submit. I wrote 10 puns and submitted all of them in hopes that at least one would win--however, no pun in ten did.
This isn't a joke; I just want to spread awareness of anatidaephobia.
Did you hear about the guy who invented the first knock knock joke?
He won the No Bell Prize!
Why didn’t the girl like stairs?
They were always up to something.
I'm dead! 😂💀💀
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a lil' boogie in it ;)
Two kids were sitting at a restaurant. One said, "Could I please have some water? I am feeling a little HORSE." The other said, "Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game."
Why is my dick like a balloon?
The more you blow it, the bigger it gets.
Me holding a new cat: Say hi to my little friend!
My friends: Hi to my little friend!