Worst Jokes Ever
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
Q: Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
A: She got hit by a bus.
What do you get when you eat a hamburger?
Mustard gas.
Why are there 25 letters in the alphabet? Because the D is in U.
Your mum said, "Who did it?" Ya nan!
How do you know when your vegetables are completely cooked?
The wheelchair rises to the top.
Roses are red, Your mum's a queer, Fucking hell, Can’t get out of first gear!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Die.
Die who?
Me, I want to die.
What do an orphan's parents and the Predator have in common?
They are both invisible.
Yo mama is so fat that when she sits on the internet, it will take a day to send!
Your forehead is so clear, like the Liberty Bell manual in 1876.
What can you tell [as] a difference between [a] man and a woman [in a] relationship?
Both of them are just full of shit.
Kid: My parents want to meet you, you wanna come over?
Orphan: Na, I'm good. I'm going to watch Home Alone. It's the only movie that I can think of that's related to me.
Which company likes Jesus the most?
IHS Markit!
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
What is an astronaut's favorite button? A space bar.
When the teacher dismissed the class to go home,
The orphan asked, "Where do I go?"
The teacher replied, "Home."
The orphan said, "Catch me on the streets then!"
BFF: Dude, come over to my house right now!
Me: What? No way, it's 2:58 AM.
BFF: But I just found my brother's secret stash of Oreos!
Me: I'll be over in 5 minutes.
Why do midgets laugh when they run?
Because the grass is tickling their ballsacks!
A man was taking a child into a dark forest.
The child said, "I'm scared!"
The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."