Worst Jokes Ever
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pepperoni pizza, and all they got was plane.
What is a gathering of octopuses called?
Octoposse.
What has 6 legs, 10 arms, and 3 heads?
The Boston marathon finish line.
I don't like it when people make jokes about 9/11, because we lost 19 great patriots that day.
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
NASA's response: National Aeronautics and Space Administration.
Everyone: What does NASA mean?
Arinator's response: National Ariana and Space Ariana.
How do you recover from prostate cancer surgery?
It’s all Depends!
What does a duck and a tablespoon have in common?
Both are not a lamp.
Guns don't kill people, black people kill people.
You don't want to know why it takes so long to put a dead woman in a mass-produced coffin in a pre-buried grave dug by machinery that is then filled by mourners.
Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.
You get to scan their wrists for discounts!
I have an announcement, Shadow the Hedgehog is a bitch ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife and he said he dick was this big and I said that's disgusting, so I'm making a callout post on my twitter dot com. Shadow, u got a small dick it looks like this walnut except way smaller.
Spell "I cup..." "I see you pee!"
I call my dad a motherfucker because he fucked his mom.
Anyone who says they don't like cats has never had one cooked right...
Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.”
Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”
I was going to an expensive dinner with my friend's girlfriend because she really wanted to go, but he just got out of surgery, and he said take care of her, so I said, "Will do, bro. I’ll bring her back fuller than a topped-up water bottle."
Why did Steven Hawkins die?
Because he got a virus.
A kid named Billy gets his lunch money stolen at school. The bully later gets his allowance, the lunch money, and his wallet taken by his father.
The father then gets all the money taken from him by the bully’s grandfather along with his own wallet. The grandfather then takes the money and gets it stolen by Billy along with his own wallet.
When you are f***ing your girlfriend and then she tells you that you f**k like your guys' dad.
Then you f**k your mom and she says the same thing.
I like my women like I like my coffee: nice, fresh, and dead.