Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

You don't need a parachute to go skydiving; you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

So a girl says, "You're so ugly to me," and she says, "I’m the prettiest girl." I say, "Yeah, a pretty girl for an ogre 👹!"

Roast

You could be sitting alone and still be the dumbest person in the room.

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    • I went to the local butcher's and asked him what happened to his Saturday boy. The butcher replies, "I had to fire him, I found him with his dick in the meat slicer!"

    "What did you do with the meat slicer?" I asked.

    The butcher says, "I had to fire her too!"

    Alternative punchline:

    "I had to call social services, she was only 14."

    What’s the difference between a motorcycle and a mutilated body?

    I don’t have a motorcycle in my garage.

    So, I was in the bathroom at school washing up, and this girl walked out of the stall and she was like, "Hey, can you make me laugh? I have been having a pretty bad day." And I was like, "Sure." I was like, "Come here." So she came over to me. I was like, "Girl, look at yourself in the mirror." And she started laughing so hard, and she said, "I'm so ugly."

    What's the difference between a pile of dead bodies and a computer?

    I don't know, I have both!

    On September 11, 2001, I was in geometry class.

    On that day, we learned you can remove one side of a pentagon by intersecting it with a plane.

    If a girl jumps off a cliff, some people call it suicide and some call it girl power, but I call it BULLSHIT.

    I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣

    What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?

    Thanks for coming!

    Why can't toilet paper cross the road? Because the toilet paper got stuck in a crack. 🤣🤣🤣