Worst Jokes Ever
What's the useless skin around the vagina? A woman.
What’s the only victimless crime you can commit? Murder, cause there’s a victim less!
You know you're ugly when you get handed the camera every time your friends have a group picture.
I was driving through a neighborhood when I saw a sign that said "Autistic Child Zone." Then I thought to myself, "Oh shit, that wasn't a dog!"
Why did Susan drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus.
A happy mother: "Why is your sister so quiet?! And how did you get super glue stuck on your penis?!"
What's red and sits in the corner?
A baby chewing on a razor blade.
What's green and sits in the corner?
Same baby, one week later.
Why do ducks have feathers?
So you don't see their butt. *quack* (crack)
Guy 2 whispering: Oh, I got tired of acting gay.
Guy 1: I heard you. Why are you acting gay?
Guy 2: To attract gays and then give them advice.
Guy 1: So what's your advice to me?
Guy 2: That I just know you're gay.
LOL xD
If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀
What's the city with the fastest growing population?
Ireland, cuz it's Dublin everyday!
What is similar about the feelings of a girl's birth daddy and her new pimp daddy?
They both worry about how she will turn out!
A man walks into a bar with an alligator. He says to the bartender, "I have a deal, if I can hold my dick in the alligator's mouth for a minute without it biting, you owe me one drink." And so the bartender agreed.
The man, like he said, had his dick in the alligator's mouth for one minute without it biting, and the bartender gave him a drink. He made another deal, but for two minutes and for two drinks. Sure enough, he was able to do it and he drank his drinks. Then he did it for five minutes and five drinks. He did it and drank his drinks. Then he said to the amazed crowd, "Would anyone like to volunteer?" One man raised his hand. He walked up to the man with the alligator and said, "Just a warning, I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long."
What runs faster than Stephen Hawking in his wheelchair?
His Internet.
Little boy: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Little boy: Your parents.
Have you walked into Steven Hawking's house yet?
Yeah, neither has he.
Do nothing about people falling down the stairs, it will keep happening.
Put razor blades on the stairs, it will be their last time falling down the stairs.
What do shemales and barns have in common?
Cocks.
What did Sally get for Easter?..
Nail polish.
God: (creating elephants) Make it big.
Angel: How big?
God: As big as my d--
Angel: Whoa!
God: Fine, 10 feet tall.
Angel: That's big bu--
God: Put a long thing on its face.