Worst Jokes Ever
A kid got a bike and a soccer ball for Christmas. He was still unhappy.
Why?
The kid had no legs.
What's the first thing you say in anal sex..... "Holy shit!"
What do you call a hospital that's flooded with vegetable soup?
What's the difference between having sex with my girlfriend and a baby?
I don't have a girlfriend.
What does a South African Batman wear? A cape.
Go punch an orphan, what are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he was dead.
When someone says, "Jesus," I say, "Bitch, where?"
You're so damn ugly that the robbers only go into your house to close the blinds.
How many wives does Santa have?
Ho Ho Ho!
When I was young, I got bullied by two kids, and whenever I got hit to the ground, I would get back up and cry. Then I had the courage to fight back, except they didn't get back up.
Why did the midget not go to bed?
He couldn't reach the bed.
What do you call a retarded fruit?
Mentally in-pear-ed.
Why does a giraffe need such a long neck?
Because its head is so far away from its body.
A man had moved to a new country with his dog and with basic understanding of the language. One day he heard people talking about a place for dogs, so he took his dog there, telling them he wanted his dog to be groomed.
The man behind the counter responded with "yes happy dog, come back in little hours." So the man left and came back a couple hours later. When he asked about his dog, he was given a box of jerky. He found out "Happy Dog" was the name of the place where dogs become food.
I’m a clown...
And everyone knows.
Dad: How was your trip to the park?
Daughter: It was good until the man came along.
Dad: *gasps* Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault, but tell Daddy, what happened?
Daughter: He made my friends go away so it was just me and him... then he took my dress off...
Dad: Oh God, what next?
Daughter: Nothing, that was it.
Dad: Oh, come on! That wasn't exciting, make something up!
Three Nazis walk into a bar.
What do you call a plane with no wings?
Sally.
Did you ever walk into Steve Hawking's house?
"No."
He hasn't too.