Worst Jokes Ever
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Owl say.
Owl say who?
Yes, they do.
Why do they tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast.
Why is the iPhone X the perfect phone for an orphan?
Because there is no home button.
Do you want to hear a joke about the blunt pencil? Never mind, it's pointless.
Why didn't the butcher cut the fillet?
Because it was a misteak.
Have you heard the latest pun about pizza?
Never mind. It’s too cheesy!
I like my kids like I like my lamps.
Hung from the ceiling.
How do you fit 27 New Zealand tourists in a 15-seater bus?
Simple. All in the ashtray.
I'm so poor that when people come over to my house, I come out the window and say, "Ding Dong!"
My aunt's star sign was Cancer, so it's pretty ironic how she died...
She was eaten by a giant crab.
Don't drink and park.
Accidents cause people.
A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship's wheel in his pants.
The bartender asks, "What's with the wheel in your pants?"
The pirate replies, "Yarrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"
So I thought about trying to eat a clock one day.
After about 13 tries, I realized this was very time consuming.
He dead, he alive, but most importantly, he got a new hard drive.
Where did Stephen Hawking go after he died?
FNAF Sister Location.
What do Will from "Stranger Things" and the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air have in common? They're both named Will, and their lives both got flipped, turned upside down.
There were 3 guys in detention called Zip, Willy, and Pee, and they were all being naughty. The teacher came in and said, "Zip down, Willy out, Pee in the corner."
I went to the doctor because I had a steering wheel in my pants, and it was driving me nuts.
Person 1: Why did you put the baby feet first into the blender?
Person 2: To see his facial expression. Why else?
Yo mama so fat that she needs 12 queen size mattresses to go to sleep.