Worst Jokes Ever
How does an artist fill in a CV?
He draws on experience.
I'm taking a guitar lesson at school. My band instructor told me he was going to hit me with my guitar. I asked him if that was a fret.
Why did the stoner cross the road?
He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.
Why is my dick like a balloon?
The more you blow it, the bigger it gets.
Yo mamma so ugly that even God said, "Be gone, DEMON!"
What's the difference between a gun and my will to live? None, they are both absent.
"Knock knock?"
"Mustache."
"I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later!"
Why did Sally fail her final exam?
Because she had nothing written down.
Hot shingles in your neighborhood wanting to get nailed.
Two kids were sitting at a restaurant. One said, "Could I please have some water? I am feeling a little HORSE." The other said, "Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game."
Roses are red, Violets are blue... I fucked your mother's ass, and she had you.
Q: Why can't dinosaurs clap?
A: Because they're dead.
I have a phobia of over-engineered buildings.
It's a complex complex complex.
Math puns are the first SINE of madness! Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
What did one brain cell say to the other brain cell?
"I think I feel a connection!"
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
Why is Santa’s sack so big?
Because he only comes once a year.
This isn't a joke; I just want to spread awareness of anatidaephobia.
Did you hear about the guy who invented the first knock knock joke?
He won the No Bell Prize!
I didn't trip and fall... I attacked the floor, and I believe I am winning :3