Worst Jokes Ever
Being bullied by an artist? Want them to leave you alone?
www.VincentVanGoghAway.com
What did Joe say when he saw his girlfriend sleeping with his sister?
Nothing, he just started wanking.
Who's a pineapple? I'm a pineapple... Yass.
Teacher and kid.
Kid: Hey, teacher.
Teacher: Yes?
Kid: Would you punish me for something I didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not.
Kid: Well, I didn't do my homework!
Why do they tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast.
Is it weird that a milk carton has a date, and I don’t?
What is a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A Sax-O-Bone.
You are American when you walk to the bathroom. What are you when you are in there?
You're-a-peein'. European.
Biggest joke?
[Image of Zac Efron]
Why did the stoner cross the road?
He got so wasted, he thought he was a chicken.
Yo mamma so ugly that even God said, "Be gone, DEMON!"
What is a tree's favorite thing to drink?
Root beer.
Me holding a new cat: Say hi to my little friend!
My friends: Hi to my little friend!
How did Stephen Hawking die? Because he didn't charge his batteries.
What's the difference between Mark Zuckerberg and a lizard?
There is no difference.
Two kids were sitting at a restaurant. One said, "Could I please have some water? I am feeling a little HORSE." The other said, "Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game."
Roses are red, Violets are blue... I fucked your mother's ass, and she had you.
A baby seal walks into a club...
- What did the skeleton say to his friend?
- Actually... TIBIA honest, I don't know how to complete this joke...
What’s the best thing about fucking twenty-eight year olds?
There’s twenty of them!
Q: Why can't dinosaurs clap?
A: Because they're dead.