Worst Jokes Ever

My cat got in a fight. It was a catastrophe.

Why do leaves change color in the fall?

Because they want to leaf their old color.

What do you call a man with no body and no nose?

Nobody knows. No body, nose.

Yo mama is so poor, I saw her kicking a can and I asked her what she was doing and she said moving.

What do they call me when I jack off?

Pulled pork.

What's worse than throwing a baby off a cliff?

Catching it with a pitchfork.

How does a blonde turn the light off after sex?

She closes the car door.

A guy and a woman are walking into a forest. The woman says she is lonely. The guy then says, "Don't worry, there will be a third person in a little while."

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car?

Get in the car.

Why did Snow White get kicked out of Disneyland?

She sat on Pinocchio's face and said: "Lie to me! Lie to me!"

I like my women like I like my chocolate.

Edible.

You don't want to know why it takes so long to put a dead woman in a mass-produced coffin in a pre-buried grave dug by machinery that is then filled by mourners.

Anyone who says they don't like cats has never had one cooked right...

A friend texts to another:

"Hey." They reply, "What's up?"

The first friend then replies with a simple answer, "The sky!" But the other friend intervenes and says, "No, it's the ceiling!"

To then the first friend finishes the greeting with, "Unless you're homeless or six feet under."

What do cows use to do their homework? A cowculator.

I would try to make a Fortnite joke, but I can't seem to build on it.

One day I was on my phone, then I got a text message from my girlfriend, "Hey, sexy boy, wanna hang out tonight if you know what I mean...?" Then I just stopped and froze. I read the message. I said, "Yeah, sure..." She replied really fast, "There's going to be a few people there, ok." But I didn't read the next message... She said, "Come right at 12:00 AM." But I didn't read it. I walked into her house, but I heard a strange noise like a moaning noise, and it sounded like HER!! So I hid behind the couch, and I looked through the open door and saw something I didn't want to see... Like for part 2 and comment if you want me to make another!!

I stole a wheelchair from a disabled kid. What is he going to do, stand up?

Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks.

You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

Why did Steven Hawkins die?

Because he got a virus.