Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call an orphan's family reunion?

Alone time.

Yo mama's so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.

You were supposed to be born in the tree.

The sticks were your siblings.

What’s the difference between a puppy and a fork?

I don’t microwave forks.

I'd tell a joke about how my mom was abusive, but I either forgot everything, or she just wasn't there.

Did the tree high five the emos?

No, he just left them hanging.

What brands do people in wheelchairs wear?

Michelin.

A priest is struck by lightning and lays hurt on the ground.

When medical crew arrives he denies them, saying, "God will surely save me!"

The medical team tries to help him, but he keeps struggling and eventually dies.

Later in the afterlife, he screams at God, saying, "Why didn't you save me? Am I not dear to you?"

God answered, "B****, I sent you a f***ing ambulance and you denied it!"

The warden is stronger than the ender dragon, but WHY IS IT NOT A BOSS?

(Doesn't have boss bar.)

What is the difference between a guy with cancer and the Twin Towers?

Nothing, they both fell.

If anyone's joke here says "burn in hell," I will mimic your account for the rest of your life.

A depressed kid didn't succeed at suicide and said, "I'm a failure at suicide, too."

Thank you so much for helping me get to 20 followers! I'm so happy, every time I look at my followers going up, it makes me so happy. I can't wait to keep posting other things on here! <3

What do you call an orphan who became a priest?

Father-less.

Why does an orphan never learn how to drive? Because he has no dad to help him.

A teacher asked a class who killed Goliath. The first pupil said he wasn’t the one. The second said he doesn’t know. No one knew in the class.

The teacher got furious and dashed to the Head Master’s office to report. Immediately, the head master followed him back to the class with a cane. He growled- “If no one tells me who killed Goliath in this class, you will see fire!” Everyone in the class insisted on the fact that it wasn’t them.

Then the Head master looked at the teacher and said- “Mr. Dapo, are you sure that the person who killed Goliath is in this class?” The teacher fainted.

Yo hairline so ugly, it looks like a newfound constellation.

What's an orphan's least favorite joke?

Dad jokes.

I would try to stop rapists, but force would be an option for it.