Worst Jokes Ever

My balls are high, just like the towers, but when something impales them, they begin to sag.

Joe Biden deez nuts.

What is a pedophile’s favorite part about Halloween?

Free delivery.

Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?

It had excellent mussel memory.

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t run home.

Jim: My grandpa fought in the army during World War Two. He was an officer.

Me: Cool, what rank of officer?

Jim: SS.

Me:...

I have a thousand-piece puzzle of the Japanese map. It took me ages to finish it.

But after the earthquake, I just threw all the pieces on the ground, and it's done.

Big Mom is so fat, Trafalgar Law can’t make enough room for her!

Why are Americans bad chess players?

Because they lost two towers.

Kenya, if you keep smiling then you will become a positive bitchy!

Tenya, everyone hates you why I have no idea!

Kenya stop smiling and start dying!

Tenya, why are you so mean!

Kenya, stop acting like a mantrapp!

Tenya, stop being a bitch in a skirt!

Please leave a comment good or bad! cusswords whatever!

I just wish I went on a date with Ariana Grande, and then everybody knew I fucked Ariana Grande.

A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared."

The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone!"

"Our all-transgender brigade has suffered heavy casualties!"

"What? We haven’t even sent them to fight!"

"They’ve already lost 30% of the unit!"

My ex died in an anchorage accident.

She always was a sleeping hooker.

Why can’t orphans go on field trips?

Because they need a parent signature.

Why is a brick always hard? Because the Indians played with it enough.

I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!

They say there's a person capable of murder in every friend group.

I suspected that it was Dave, so I killed him before he could cause any harm.

What did the orphan say to his dad last?

Please get non-fat milk!

What's the difference between soccer and a dead baby?

I don't wear steel cap boots when I play soccer.