Worst Jokes Ever
Sally had 69 boobs, which was 222 many, 69,222. So she went to the doctor on 51st street, 69,222,51, who gave her pills. She took them 8 times a day, and now she is boobless.
What do you call a tall person?
A tall person.
Johnny is on his way to school when he comes across a frog. With a sudden inspirational thought, he picks the frog up, shoves a firecracker up the frog's arse, lights the cracker, and blows the frog to smithereens.
Now at school, the teacher asks the class: "Has anybody got anything for show and tell this morning?"
Johnny waves his arm in the air and is virtually screaming "Me mis me mis me mis".
"Ok Johnny, what do you have to share with the class today?"
Little Johnny then says, "Well on my way to school today I shoved a cracker up a frog's arse." The teacher interrupts and says, "It's not arse Johnny, It's rectum."
Johnny then says, "Fucking oath it wrecked 'im."
What did the baseball ⚾️ say to the bat?
“We should touch base.”
Why was the computer late for work?
He had a hard drive.
Why do people make fun of you jokes in worst jokes ever? Because it is called "worst jokes ever."
A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden Bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn, comes in to take a piss. The man can't help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised at how well endowed he is, and he asks: "Bubba, what's your secret?"
Bubba replies: "Well, every night before I get in bed with a woman I whack my dick on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"
The man was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night, before he went to bed with his wife. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says "Bubba, is that you?"
Why can't an orphan read?
He couldn't go to school without a parent's signature.
My favorite dark joke is orphan jokes. For no apparent reason.
What does an orphan call a family portrait?
A selfie.
This orphan showed me a family photo.
But it was just a selfie.
Yo mama is so fat, a picture of her would fall off the wall.
What did the parents say to the orphan? "Where are your parents?"
Oh... wait.
Alex Stokes says, "Kat, I've seen you eat many foods!"
What's tree plus tree? Sticks! (Three plus three equals six).
How does a tree access the internet?
By logging in and branching out!
Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?
Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.
|| 20 YEARS LATER ||
Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?
Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.
Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.
What did the South Tower say to the North Tower?
I'm afraid for my gay calendar. Its days are numbered!
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Roses are red, violets are blue, Your ass is clean because Randy won’t stop liking [it].