Worst Jokes Ever
Your hairline is so long The Rock complimented it!
I was at my bank today waiting in a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady, who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla of yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!"
What’s worse than running with scissors?
Scissoring with the runs!
What’s faster than a black guy with the TV?
His little brother with the console.
What do you call a Mexican with one leg?
Border hopper.
Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?
A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.
After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?
Because he had a ton of sick beets.
I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.
I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.
Who were the greenest Presidents in US history? The Bushes.
My hotel tried to charge me ten dollars extra for air conditioning. That wasn’t cool.
If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery... I’ll kill him with my bear hands.
What’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1.
I hate it when people say age is only a number. Age is clearly a word.
Someone complimented my parking today! They left a sweet note on my windshield that said, “Parking fine.”
I was excited to hear Apple might start selling its own cars until I learned they wouldn’t support Windows.
Why did the Invisible Man turn down a job offer? He couldn’t see himself doing it.
Being the first to move in chess.
It’s a white privilege.
What type of tea does the Social Justice Warrior avoid?
Reality.
What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?
“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”