Worst Jokes Ever
What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial abortion.
Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.
The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"
What did the cancer cell say to its neighbor?
"Mind if I join you?"
I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.
Why did Sarah fall off a skyscraper?
Because she made her dad mad.
My sister's name was Philma. We were unfortunate enough to have the last name Coochie. Let's just say no more virgins were at that school.
What do you call a gay scientist? Stephen Hawqueen.
22 ants were playing football in a saucer.
One ant said to another one, “We'll have to play better tomorrow. We're playing in the cup!”
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What do you get when you cross Donald Trump with Fregley?
Orange juice.
Why did the guitarist go to prison?
'Cause he fingered A minor.
What did the panther say at the poker party?
I'd be lion if I said I was a cheetah.
What do you call it when a girl on her period goes swimming?
A blood bath.
What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like?
Depends...
Africa.
A blond and her brunette friend were chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her.
To not be outdone, the blond retorts:
"That's nothing! Once we were in the kitchen, I can't believe I didn't see it coming. One minute I turned, and he just got it all on my face! It was so thick and hard! It covered my mouth, my nose, my shoulders, and eyes. It even got in my hair, and when I looked up at him, all he could say was, 'Whoops! The flower went everywhere!'"
Where did the cow go on his first date? To the moovies.
Rape isn't funny unless she's laughing, too.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A murderer.
A murderer who--
Is cut off by being murdered.
What do women put on their ears to look more attractive?
Their knees.