Worst Jokes Ever
Arsenal
[God creating a jellyfish]
God: How about an evil bag?
AIDS?
Why were the 1800s so crazy?
Because of Hairriet Tubman.
I only made so it's the 69th in the hair category.
I called my dog J. They said, "Joné."
Why does a woodpecker have a beak?
So as to not smash his head against the tree.
Why doesn't Adele swim properly?
Because she's rolling in the deep. 🤽♂️
My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.
I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"
I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"
What do you get when Cayden steals your sandwich? A knuckle sandwich.
Why can't bugs drive... because they don't have a LICE-ens...
BA-DUM CHHH!
Q: Why did the family want to move out while the neighbors were playing tennis?
A: Because they were a racquet!
What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?
Klaustrophobic.
If you overdose on Viagra, do you die... hard?
I like my women like I like my diving pools.
Wet and deep.
What do you call a 6 year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
Q. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A. A gummy bear.
Q. What monster plays the most April Fools' pranks?
A. Prankenstein.
Velcro is such a rip-off.
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.
Your breath is so hot, it made the Chicago fire!