Worst Jokes Ever
What song do you play at an emo kid's funeral?
Van Halen's "Jump."
What do alcoholics and amputees have in common?
They are both legless.
What did the cow say to the leather chair?
“Hi Mom!”
What's the difference between a black Jew and a white Jew?
The black Jew sits in the back of the oven.
Are you a mental hospital? Cause I need to be in you.
Why should you never make height jokes about dwarfs?
It goes right over their head.
I just broke up with my mathematician girlfriend. She was obsessed with an X.
Cop: "I'm arresting you for downloading the entire Wikipedia."
Man: "Wait! I can explain everything!"
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense.
They have to come out of the closet sometime.
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
What’s better than Stephen Hawking?
Stephen walking.
What’s the difference between chocolate and people?
You can’t buy people nowadays.
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
Why can’t you take a Black Asian guy golfing? Because he can’t drive and can’t find his own balls.
One time a blind person grabbed my arm thinking it was something else.
"Oh wow, this is such an interesting book!"
Just because you‘re suicidal, you don‘t have to be a quitter.
Wait, actually.
Yo mama so fat, her cheeks are in different time zones.
Yo ass built like a wide body Hellcat!
What sexual position produces the ugliest kids? Ask your mum!