Worst Jokes Ever
Chuck Norris heard that nothing in the world could kill him.
So he tracked down nothing in the world and killed it.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. It's not dead, just afraid to move.
Why can't you tell an Indian a secret? Because the red dot means they're recording!
What's the difference between a cactus and a school bus?
On a bus all the little pricks are on the inside.
What's the difference between you and a bench?
A bench can hold a family.
What's your religion?
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Or at least it does if you throw it hard enough.
Why is it that if you donate a kidney, people love you? But if you donate five kidneys, they call the police.
My senior relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying things like, “You’ll be next!” They stopped once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
You're so cool that celebrities take pictures of you.
You're so brilliant and bright that the Sun wears sunglasses when you're near!
Why is the Tower of Pisa leaning? Because it had better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
Millions of people are doing the exact same thing as you are right now.
What do emos and unsalted popcorn have in common?
They're both white and flavorless.
Yo momma is so fat, when she tried to hang herself, the noose broke.
My Chinese friend died recently, So Yung.
Justice for all!
What did the deaf, dumb, blind, paraplegic, autistic baby get for Christmas? AIDs.
Today on a drive, I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the people living there if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door in my face.
My parents are the worst.
What do you call a person with a flip flop?
My dad.
What is a pedophile's favorite planet?
Uranus.
Four men were asked if they could have something with their cousin for €500.
The first replied: "For 500€? Of course!"
The second said: "I'd do it for free!"
The third replied: "I would even give her 200€!"
The fourth replied: "With my ex? Never!"