Worst Jokes Ever
What time is it when you get home and you walk, walk home and walk, walk home?
Employer: Can you perform under pressure?
Me: No, but I do a pretty good "Bohemian Rhapsody."
Why was the turtle looking at her phone?
She wanted to take a shellfie.
So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.
They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."
I just stepped on a corn flake. I'm officially a cereal killer.
Roses are red, violets are blue, she is hot, but you're as ugly as poo.
SPOILER ALERT...
I was going to tell you a joke about Thanos, but T. S. snapped it away!
Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.
Xd.
Yo, sis, come here.
Sis: What?
Me: Oh, sorry, you doing school?
Sis: Yup.
Me: Can I go?
Sis: No way, you're going to hug me.
Me: I love you.
A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"
The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"
Where do cows go to see the big screen? The mooo-vie theater.
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
Why do people love camping?
Because it's in tents!
I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.
It was a breathtaking experience.
A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says, "Sir, are you a gambling man?"
The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am."
"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."
The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."
The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."
"I am. But the steaks are too high."
When a donkey digs a tunnel, it is called a burro.
Wanna hear a joke?
Me.
What noise did Steven Hawking make when he died?
Windows shutting down.
Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.