Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the difference between a feminist and a rock?
A rock can break a glass ceiling.
I had a friend named Mari. Sadly, she did drugs.
So one day I go up to her and say, “Mari-juana do this???” She later asked me to leave forever... I don’t gnome why, but... it CRACKed me up a bit!!!
What do you call a funny family of chairs? A sitcom!
Why did the kid with Down syndrome get expelled?
He was always tardy.
What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill?
Taco Bell going out of business.
How do you get 100 babies in the back of a pick up truck? Blender.
How do you get them back out? Straw.
What is the octopus's favorite shape?
An octagon.
What will you call Burj Khalifa after 100 years?
"Bujurg" Khalifa. (Just a joke)
Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend?
A: Will you marrow me?
I added Paul Walker on my Xbox, but all he does is sit on the dashboard.
A little boy was given a bicycle and a soccer ball for his birthday, but why was the little boy unhappy?
Because the little boy had no legs.
What was the last thing that crossed Princess Diana's mind?
The steering wheel.
What did Hitler get for his 6th birthday?
A Kewpie burger and an Easy-Bake Oven.
How many feminazis does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because they can't change anything.
"Ching chong, drop the bomb!"
I got my little girl a hand sewing kit for her birthday and she cried. I didn't understand why until I realized that she had no hands to sew with.
When I saw a dead body on the ground and my editor was filming, I told him to censor that a-hole. When I saw the completed product, he censored me. Then I killed him.
Knock knock...
Who's there?
Not Stephen Hawking.
In my house, good sex sounds like seals slapping each other.
What do you call a man with a curly toe?
Carlito.