Worst Jokes Ever
Q: Why did the family want to move out while the neighbors were playing tennis?
A: Because they were a racquet!
Q. What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A. A gummy bear.
Q. What monster plays the most April Fools' pranks?
A. Prankenstein.
Velcro is such a rip-off.
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.
I left Iran. Guess how? I ran!
What happened when the teacher tied all the students' shoe laces together?
They took a class trip.
I like my women like I like my diving pools.
Wet and deep.
What do you call a 6 year old with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?
Klaustrophobic.
I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.
It was a breathtaking experience.
A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says, "Sir, are you a gambling man?"
The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am."
"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."
The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."
The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."
"I am. But the steaks are too high."
When a donkey digs a tunnel, it is called a burro.
What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?
They have both had a few strokes.
I had amnesia once... maybe twice.
Wanna hear a joke?
Me.
What noise did Steven Hawking make when he died?
Windows shutting down.
Your mama so fat, when Pennywise said, "We all float down here," he saw her and suddenly knew he was mistaken.
Arsenal
A seal walks into a club.