Worst Jokes Ever
Did you hear about the guy who got a tattoo of an octopus?
He got inked up.
what's black and red and is a liquid?
my scars!
What do you call terrible milk?
Udder Bullshit.
Yo mama's so old, when she was a girl, rainbows were black and white.
So there I was, having a fantastic time going down on my nan.
When suddenly I got a nasty taste in my mouth.
"Wait a minute," I said. This distinctly tastes like horse semen.
Then it clicked.
"Ah, so that's how you died."
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 80 stories in 7 seconds. In case you didn't see that one coming, don't feel bad, they didn't either.
What do you call a roach in milk?
A roach con leche. 😂
Q: When and where was the biggest BBQ ever?
A: Hiroshima, Japan 1946.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? "Wow, hairy!"
Give a man a fish, feed him for a day.
Give a man a poison fish, feed him for a lifetime.
What do you call a gay threesome?
A Sloppy Joe.
I never knew the kid at school had autism. I always just thought he was walking into cobwebs.
I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.
We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.
How do you circumcise a redneck?
You kick his sister in the jaw.
What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.
What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.
What's the difference between an ISIS training center and a school?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on Mars? Mars Rover.
What's an alien's favorite computer key?
The space bar!
Why is Stephen Hawking good at skateboarding? Because he's always on the ramps.