Worst Jokes Ever
Why do kids prefer to spend more time with their dad than their mom?
They already know that their dad is gonna get "Milk" and never return.
What was found under MJ's pillow after he died?
Billy's jeans.
Why did Mary have a little lamb? Because a big one was too much in bed.
Q. What's an orphan's favorite South Park episode?
A. The anti-Family Guy episode.
Yo mama so fat that she was born on the 3rd, 4th, and 5th of March.
Yo mama so fat, One Punch Man had to punch 3 times.
I wrote down a speech at home yesterday.
When I got to school, I was speechless.
Give a blind kid a torch and tell him it's a hairdryer.
Osama Bin Laden is the best Angry Birds player of all time.
You are what happens when women drink during pregnancy.
If you ever feel useless... Just remember that if you ever feel useless... Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with... the Taliban.
What do you call a midget psychic that has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large.
Why do bunnies like Bruno Mars? Because he got 24 carrots.
A grasshopper jumps into a bar.
The bartender says, "We've got a drink named after you."
The grasshopper says, "Seriously? Why would you name a drink Callum?"
Did you hear about the magician who did magic with chocolate?
I heard he had loads of Twix up his sleeve.
Why did the skeleton want a friend? He was feeling bonely.
Can we stop talking about 9/11? My dad died, man, but he was a good pilot.
Fatty told Skinny, "Do you have any food? My stomach is empty and I haven't eaten."
Skinny replied to Fatty, "Well, doesn't seem like you need food, you ate the whole universe instead!"
My dad brought me some sunglasses, but it still wasn't enough to keep my son out of my life.
I looked up "I have whiplash" on WebMD, and it diagnosed me with slavery.