Worst Jokes Ever

What is the difference between a baby and a trampoline?

I take off my boots when I jump on a trampoline.

One man's trash is another man's treasure.

Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you were adopted.

The saddest painting you will see is a mirror.

Where's a cannibal's favorite place to eat?

Chili's, because they got them baby back ribs.

I got my daughter a fridge for her birthday.

I can’t wait to see her face light up when she opens it.

A couple of cows were smoking a joint and playing cards...

The steaks were pretty high.

Women should be allowed to leave the kitchen... to clean the rest of the house.

What's the difference between your job and a dead hooker?

Your job still sucks.

What do you get when you throw a baby into the wheat thresher?

An erection.

I'm better than you in every single way... I even have an extra chromosome.

How do you help a constipated person?

You scare the shit out of them!

Named my dog Syndrome, so when he sits on my couch I can say, “Get down, Syndrome!”

What do french fries 🍟 do when they meet?

They ketchup.

What's the difference between my car and a hooker? I park my car in a garage instead of leaving it on the side of the road.

I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks.

I didn't want to interrupt her.

What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.

What do women have on an empty stomach? A miscarriage.

Why did lil Susie fall off the swing? She didn’t have any arms.

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Not lil Susie.

A guy goes to see his psychiatrist dressed only in bubble wrap. When he gets there, he asked the psych, "Can you please help me?"

The psych says, "No, I'm sorry, I can clearly see your nuts."

What do you call the place where an octopus is sitting?

Octopied.