Worst Jokes Ever
Why can’t Jesus eat M&Ms? They keep falling through his hands.
Why did mommy disappear? The dad: Well, when she crossed the road to get to the chicken, she only made it halfway.
Everyone in my class: "I can't wait until I have a family, I can't wait to study for my dream job."
My friends: "What's your dream job?"
Me: "I'm going to die young :))"
What do lesbians cook for dinner?
They don't, they just eat out.
Jack and Jill went up the hill, each with a buck and a quarter. Jill came down with $2.50, that fuckin' whore.
Papyrus ran headfirst into a windmill. Guess you can call him a bonehead.
What's better than seeing a baby swing around on a clothesline at 60km/h? Stopping it with a cricket bat.
What do you call a bee’s love?
Honey.
What sucks but doesn't suck?
Vacuums!
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost two towers.
I was playing chess with my friend and he said, "Let’s make this interesting."
So we stopped playing chess.
I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realized they didn't fit me around the waist, so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waste of time.
What did the lawyer name his twins?
COURTney and CASEy.
what happens when you accidentally taught your child to call every man daddy?
you find the real one.
I've been trying to find jokes about gouging my eyes out, but I couldn't see any.
Wanna hear a joke?
Feminism.
When is a piece of wood made king?
When it's a ruler.
Person 1: "Where was Hiroshima?"
Person 2: "In Japan."
Person 1: "No wonder! That's why they never saw it coming."
What do you call a banana eating a banana?
Canabananalism.
Stormtrooper: What should we do about the failed plan?
Palpatine: Screw it.