Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a black dad and a boomerang? A boomerang comes back.
What do you call a Chinese millionaire?
Cha ching.
Sometimes, I think back on all the mistakes I've ever made.
Then I realize, "My daughter isn't THAT bad..."
Parents: "OH! Honey, we were just wrestling!"
Little Johnny: "OK! I'll join you!"
A heavily pregnant woman is in an accident and gives birth to twins while comatose. Upon awakening some days later, the doctors tell her that her brother Tom filled out the birth certificates while she was out.
"Oh no, Tom's an idiot, what did he name my daughter?" she asked the nurse.
"Denise."
"That's not a bad name. And what did he name the boy?"
"Tom Junior."
My grandpa kept warning the people on the Titanic that the boat was going to sink. Result: he got kicked out of the movie theater.
You realize you're in a paradox until you die. You'll see yourself die by murder, suicide, old age, etc.
Then you realize you're dreaming, but you realize that if you die in a dream, you die IRL.
John Cena once insulted Chuck Norris. That's why we can't see him anymore.
The thing I don't like about shopping centers...
When you see one, you've seen a mall.
Did you hear about the deaf man who got a ticket?
It's OK, he didn't either!
Why can't a blonde call 911?
She can't find the 11.
Q. What did Hitler give his niece for her birthday?
A. An easy bake oven.
Why did the orange go blind? Because he was low on vitamin C.
Tibia honest, it takes a lot of spine to memorize all the bones in the skeletal system. I mean, there's a skele-ton of em! You gotta be boned up for the skeletal system exam, buddy chum pal. Now that was a humerus ribtickling skelepun. Besides, if ya don't know all of the bones in the skeletal system, get boned, fucking numbskull. Did those tickle your funny bone? Now I've been working down to the bone typing these puns, kid. Now if you hate all these, I won't be bothered, I got thick skin! But first, lemme take a skelfie in the skelevator playing my trom-bone. Now, I gotta go to Grillby's. They got a discount on spare-ribs. Bone-voyage, my homeslice breadslice dawg.
When deaf people see someone yawning, do they think they're screaming?
I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."
God creating bees.
God: "Put a needle on their butt."
Angel: "Come on, God, wha-"
God: "Make its puke delicious."
Angel: "WTF"
Knock, knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.
The teacher asked, "Why are you in school on a Saturday?"
I told her my mum told me to go to hell.
What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?
Fat, you get fat.
What? Were you expecting a pi joke?