Worst Jokes Ever

What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda.

There's a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run.

What's the difference between light and hard?

It's easy to get to sleep with a light on.

How do we know that Princess Diana had dandruff?

Because they found her head and shoulders in the glovebox.

Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead.

What's the difference between my phone and my sister?

I actually give a damn if my phone dies.

How did Stephen Hawking die?

They unplugged the wifi.

I can’t stand disabled jokes...

Neither can they 😂

yo mama so fat she went swimming with the whales and sang "weeeeeee areeeee fammmilllyyyyy!!!!!!!"

So, Duracell batteries do run out.

What has more letters than the alphabet? -- The post office.

Why can't an orphan go to McDonald's? There's no point in the words "happy meal."

What do McDonald's and a priest have in common? They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns.

What did the math book say to the other math book?

Wanna hear my problems?

So, this guy and his wife figure out that she has gotten pregnant. The baby is due March 31st. Well, the guy is at work and he gets a call from his wife. She tells him she is going into labor. He rushes to pick her up, and once he is on the road, he starts speeding. Eventually, he hits another car and swerves off the road into a ditch. He wakes up in the hospital, looks around but doesn’t see his wife. He asks the doctor, "Is my wife okay? She was carrying my child." The doctor said the wife is fine and the baby is in good health. 10 seconds later he goes, "APRIL FOOLS! Your wife is dead and your child has brain damage."

Jake Paul

What would you find on a haunted beach?

A sand-witch!

"Hey guys, I'm a new jokester, remember my name as I'll be making a lot more!!! P.S. They will be much better than this one!"

What's the best thing about abuse jokes? The punchline.

What do you call a woman who says she can do anything a man can do?

Wrong.

What does a blondie and a shotgun have in common?

Give them a cock and they're ready to blow.