Worst Jokes Ever

Sir, I mustache you a question...

Ah, never mind, I'll just shave it for later.

Seat belts are like the condom for cars.

Stormtrooper: What should we do with this coffee?

Palpatine: Brew it!

If hay is for horses, what is for unicorns?

Haaaaaaay!

Your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.

What do you call a passport for Mandalorians?

A Pre Visa!

Girls are like volcanoes.

You never know when they will erupt.

Me: I look up to you.

Friend: Wow, thanks!

Me: But in general cuz your so tall.

If you ever get mad at a person that crumpled their leg, don't forget that they can hide, but they can't run.

How many hookers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One, cause they'll screw anything.

What do you call a midget psychic that has escaped from prison?

A small medium at large.

Why do bunnies like Bruno Mars? Because he got 24 carrots.

I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."

"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

The way you talk is so slow that they put you in the movie Fast and Furious and changed the title to Slow and Serious!!!😂😂😭

I just wanted to say to never let go of family; they are everything. Never let anyone walk all over you. And if you are with me, like this quote.

you play gatcha life more like go get a life.

I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.

I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.

Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology.

You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.

My sister is pregnant, I'm gonna be a dad.

Yeah, you can call me daddy, son.

What was found under MJ's pillow after he died?

Billy's jeans.

What are three things you can't give a black guy?

A fat lip, a black eye, and a job.

You should know how important it is to wash your sex toys.

That's why priests invented baptism.