Worst Jokes Ever
Q: Why did the chef get fired?
A: He took cooking advice from Hitler!
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with 3 legs?
Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with 2 legs?
Your mom.
Y'know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"? No, it screeches.
Confucius say:
"Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day."
3/7 of a chicken, 2/3 cat, 1/2 goat. What do you get when you cross those?
Answer: Chi-ca-go
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Nah, he got nailed...
The teacher of the ELA class said that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next to the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he said, "Me, I'm going home." Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and said, "At the end of this ruler is an idiot," he got suspended for asking which end.
Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote: "Don't be dumb, make sure they're numb, and always use a condom!"
When earthquakes hit, coffins become maracas underground.
6:30 has to be the best time, hands down.
What do women and airplanes have in common?
A cockpit.
So, a guy is evading the draft. The cops bang on his door, and he runs out the back, through an alleyway onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse. She complies, and the cops walk by and don't see them. The man comes back up from under the nun's blouse and says, "Hey man, you've got a pair of balls!" The nun says, "I didn't wanna be drafted either..."
My friend says to me: "What rhymes with orange?" I said: "No it doesn't."
Yo mama so poor she walked into an elevator and thought it was a mobile home.
What's the difference between a Lambo and a boner?
Your sister didn't give me a Lambo.
I hooked up with the groom at my uncle's wedding.
Can February march? -- No, but April may.
Yo mama so dumb, she thought a quarterback was a refund.
My mum told me to stop playing with my sister. She said, "At least wait for her to be born first."
A German soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, "What happened?" and the soldier replies, "Hail hit her."