Worst Jokes Ever
My nickname should be night light... because kids turn me on...
What's the best part of working at an abortion clinic?
Free dog food.
What kind of car does Yoda drive? A Toyoda.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
What's worse than Sally in a trash can? Sally in thirteen trash cans.
A man ordered a washing machine because his old one stopped working. As soon as the man opened his new washing machine, he immediately rejoiced because there was a woman inside. Without hesitation, the man yelled, "FREE DISHWASHER!"
I don't like 9/11 jokes; they have a tendency to crash and burn.
If we can't see air, can fish see water?
It isn't really rape if you speak different languages. I mean, how is the man supposed to know what she is saying? Those could be tears of joy and screams of pleasure.
What do you get when you mix up a group of emos?
Suicide squad.
I only remember my father's last words before he died. He said, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
What is a cow's favorite party game?
Moo-sical chairs!
Why are mountains so funny? -- Because they are hill areas.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He rolled too far away from the outlet on the wall.
Jesus walks into a motel, throws 3 nails on the counter, and says, "Can you put me up for a night?"
Did you hear about the ninja pedophile? No one saw him coming.
In America, planes hit the Twin Towers. In Soviet Russia, Twin Towers hit planes.
What rock group has four men that don't sing? -- Mount Rushmore.
There was a person who sent ten different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?
I don't know, I can't count while I masturbate...
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!