Worst Jokes Ever
How many gay guys can you fit on a bar stool? Four, just flip it over.
Jack and Jill went up a hill so Jack could eat her candy. But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c*** because Jill's real name is Randy.
Why don't you ever see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it.
An Irish-man walks out of a bar.
What did the downs kid get on his math test??
Drool.
I like my women how I like my wine.
14 years aged and locked in a cellar.
Why did the family get mad at the boy for eating at the funeral?
While trying to season his food, he mistook his cremated grandfather for salt.
Francis Pope, Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and a little boy were on a falling airplane. There were 3 parachutes. Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps off the plane saying, “The world needs my leadership!” Barack Obama grabs a parachute and says, “I need to help make choices for our world,” so he jumps off the plane. At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane. The Pope says to the boy, “take the last parachute, I am too old and I’m going to die soon one day.” The little boy says, “actually there are two, you see, Donald Trump took my backpack.”
Why are blind people so good at being a Jedi?
They are always swinging a stick.
A pirate walked into a bar with his ship's steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, "Hey! What's with the steering wheel?" The pirate says, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"
What do you get when you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo!
What do you call someone that illegally transports cups? - A s-mug-gler.
So my mom sent a text saying, "I'm gonna need help carrying groceries when I get back." That was 3 months ago.
On a hot summer's day, a famous celebrity tweeted, "It is a beautiful day, and I'm deciding which kid to have fun with today." To which the local priest replied, "I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today."
What happened to the fly on the toilet seat?
It got pissed off.
Did you hear about the person who invented the door knocker?
He won a no-bell prize.
What can you tell a dog, but not your girlfriend? Come.
What is a retard's favorite race? The grand autismo.
Baptism, a chance for the priest to bathe you.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.