Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

What's the difference between a paycheck and your penis?

You don't have to beg your wife to blow up the paycheck.

  • 1

    • I saw my sister masturbating with a carrot. I said, "Come on, I was gonna eat that later! Now it's just gonna taste like carrots!"

  • 4

    • A cop pulls a guy over for suspected drunk driving. The cop opens the door and the driver falls out onto the asphalt. The cop says, "Holy shit, you're so drunk, you can't even walk!"

    The drunk says, "No shit, that's why I took my car!"

  • 0

    • I'm shocked that Kanye West never tried to get Carrie Underwood's number after Carrie starred in a pro-Aryan ad for Almay.

    With numerous reports of Donald Trump's odor and Kelly Clarkson's lack of hygienic habits... proof that money doesn't buy cleanliness.

    I walked in on my dad fucking my little brother. I don't know what was worse: the fact that he was fucking my brother, or the fact that the abortion clinic let my parents take the fetus home....

    Q: What's the difference between LeBron James and a priest?

    A: The size of balls they play with.

    [Them]: "Don't you think you'll feel ashamed of all the suicide jokes you've made when you get older?"

    [Me]: "When I what?" 0-0

    Rizz,

    Are you a biographer? Cause I picture us together.

    Can I take a picture of you for I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

    No pen, no paper, you still draw my attention.

    You know what I hate about math? They always talk about x and y, but not about u and i.

    Guys, don’t let nobody hurt you with words.

    Like someone once said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

    I told myself the other night after a long night at the bar that I should stop drinking.

    But why should I listen to a drunk who talks to himself?