Worst Jokes Ever
Fortnite is like America... At one time it was good and free. Now it's neither.
Lost my virginity to a down syndrome the other day... only cause I wanted my first time to be special.
What's a skeleton's favorite plant? A bone-zai tree. But if they don't like that one, how about a s-pine tree?
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
Gary and Steve are having sex and the phone rings. Steve goes to answer the phone and tells Gary, "Hey, don't finish yourself until I get back." After returning from the other room, there is cum all over the bed and wall of the bedroom. "Jesus, Gary, I said not to finish yourself until I got back!" Gary turns to him and says, "I didn't, I farted."
A grandfather is on his rocking chair. His grandson comes to him and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds with a "no". His granddaughter then comes along and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds, "Why do you keep asking me to croak?" The granddaughter replies, "Because Dad says if you do, we get to go to Disneyland."
Girl: "How do you feel about abortion?"
Dad: "Ask your sister."
Girl: "I don't have a..."
An elderly woman and an elderly man were at a retirement home.
The man was shuffling a deck of cards for a card game.
The man asks, "Is it your first time?"
The woman replies, "It's been a while since a man has asked me that."
Website: Submit a joke :-)
Me: My life.
I would tell you a milk joke, but it's whey too cheesy!
What's red and in a corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
What's green and in a corner?
The same baby three weeks later.
What's the same with a toilet and anal sex? Your ass gets numb after a while.
What's the difference between you and Jesus? Your parents remember Jesus's birth date.
Them: You want some Lucky Harms?
Me: What are Lucky Harms?
Them: They're Lucky Charms, but instead of being magically delicious, they're magically malicious.
What's the difference between Tyler and a rooster? A rooster says, "cock-a-doodle-doo," Tyler says, "any cock will do."
Yo mama so poor, she can't even pay attention.
What's the difference between Mexicans and stoners? Stoners actually have papers.
What does an apple and a lawyer have in common?
They both look good hanging from a tree.
How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a light bulb? Obviously not 8, because it's still dark in my basement.
The more emos there are, the less emos there are.