Worst Jokes Ever
You want to hear a dirty joke? Jonny played in the mud. You want to hear a clean joke? Jonny took a bath with bubbles. You want to hear a dirty joke? Bubbles was the next door neighbor.
So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods.
The boy turns to the man and says, "Hey mister, it's getting dark out, and I’m scared... Can we go back now?"
So the man says: "How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone!"
Where do animal does Russian milk come from?
"Moscows".
For sale: Dead canary.
Not going cheep.
What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone-appetit!
Why should you be wary of stairs? -- Because they are always up to something.
When I was in 4th grade, we wrote letters to kids in the hospital. I wrote: "It is a bumpy road but soon it will be a straight path." Not many people know I was talking about their heart monitor.
Nevermind, it's retarded.
A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing. A man named Chris comes up and asks, “Which one is yours?” The man said, “I don’t know, I’m still deciding.”
Flat Earthers
I'll never forget my sister's last words. "Is it edible?"
19 and 20 had a fight. 21.
How do you think the unthinkable? With an iceberg.
Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line, he comes across a woman who isn't saluting.
"Why are you not saluting like the others?" Hitler barks.
"Mein Führer, I'm the nurse," she responds. "I'm not crazy!"
I bought my son a fridge for Christmas. I can't wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
How did the hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her son's dick tasted funny.
Stephen Hawking died because he accidentally lost his bluetooth connection.
Why did the snail paint a big "S" on his car?
Because he wanted people to say look at that S-car go when he rolled by.
Why didn't the koala make the finals? It got diskoalafied.
What is a terrorist's DJ name?
Osama Spin Laden.
Dropping beats like the Twin Towers.