Worst Jokes Ever

Women's rights.

I heard a pretty juicy rumor about butter, but I decided I didn't want to spread it.

How does NASA organize their parties? They planet.

What's better than roses on a piano?

Tulips on an organ.

Happiness.

What do you call Mexicans in a band trying to be a white band?

"Juan Direction."

The "W" in African stands for water.

On the inside of a fire hydrant you'll find H2O. What's on the outside? K9P.

So, is a homosexual in a coma a fruit or a vegetable?

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

He worked it out with a pencil.

My Llama's cousin sucks at going on vacation.

He just stands there; "I'll pack uhhhh...."

What is the difference between a washing machine and a hooker?

I can put a load in the washing machine without it following me.

How do you tell the difference between a Palestinian elementary school and a terrorist training camp?

Answer... I don't know, I just fly the drone.

When Stephen Hawking was feeling hungry, he used to call in to his local PC World for a megabyte and some microchips.

I like my cigars like I like my women: 7 years old and in a burlap sack from Cuba.

Ok, not really racist but still funny.

Why did Helen Keller wear skin tight pants?

So you could read her lips.

So, I was fucking my daughter the other day and my wife walked in... I don't know what was funnier: the look on her face, or that the abortion clinic let me keep her.

Teacher: Why did the skeleton know the weather outside?

Student: 'Cause he could feel it in his bones.

Teacher: No, he read the weather report, you fucking idiot.

Why did the orphan not have a girlfriend?

Because he thought that she would leave him too.

What's the difference between a man and a table?

The table doesn't cry when I break its legs.