Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call someone that illegally transports cups? - A s-mug-gler.
So my mom sent a text saying, "I'm gonna need help carrying groceries when I get back." That was 3 months ago.
On a hot summer's day, a famous celebrity tweeted, "It is a beautiful day, and I'm deciding which kid to have fun with today." To which the local priest replied, "I too am deciding which of your kids to have fun with today."
What happened to the fly on the toilet seat?
It got pissed off.
Did you hear about the person who invented the door knocker?
He won a no-bell prize.
What can you tell a dog, but not your girlfriend? Come.
What is a retard's favorite race? The grand autismo.
Baptism, a chance for the priest to bathe you.
Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.
Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.
I brought my cousin to an arcade and I gave her $5 to go play a game, but she tugged my joystick too hard.
*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."
Person 2: "Probably Bullets."
Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"
Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."
Person 1: "...."
Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."
If you are ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Why were the people in the Twin Towers sad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
I nailed my Jewish girlfriend so hard, she turned Christian.
The gas prices are going up so much that even Hitler is killing himself.
you.
Q: How can you tell that a pedophile likes music?
A: He rapes D minor.
Location is in London by the way.
One day a fatass came home and told his friend that he lost money.
His friend: "Oh for once you lost some pounds!"
On a scale of 1-10, how old was Michael Jackson’s last boyfriend?