Worst Jokes Ever
Are you a school? Because I want to shoot a bunch of kids in you.
Just noticed something: all celebrities die badly except for Elvis. He had a relief after Taco Bell.
Money and my mom are kinda the same thing; they come and leave easily.
Why can't dwarfs be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
How do you make a fruit punch?
You give it a pair of boxing gloves.
What do you do when you see a sad orphan?
Nothing, let them wait for their parents.
Why did Helen Keller burn her hands?
Because she was trying to read the waffle iron.
I put the sexy in dyslexia.
What is the hardest part about being a pedophile? Fitting in.
If there was someone selling drugs around here, we'd know.
You know, it's only considered murder if there's a body. Otherwise, it's just a missing person.
Two atoms are walking down the street, and they run into each other. One says to the other, "Are you all right?" "No, I lost an electron!" "Are you sure?" "Yeah, I’m positive!"
If Chuck Norris was a Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.
Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?
Reports say there's a small medium at large!
Some kids at school made fun of me for playing Halo. I gave them a halo.
So there I was, fucking my sister, and she shouts, "God, you fuck like Dad!" I then said, "Damn, that’s what Mom said."
When the emo kid hangs himself and the autistic kid thinks that it's a piñata... BATTER UP TO THE PLATE!
And the lord said unto John, "Come forth and you will receive eternal life." But John came fifth and won a toaster.
What do you call someone who wants to commit suicide by jumping off a building?
A cliffhanger.
What's the darkest point in the universe?
The inside of a KFC.