Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? -- Because the octopus was well armed.
Why does Mexico never hold the Olympics? Because everyone that can run, jump, and swim is already out of the country.
My new girlfriend is a porn star. She would probably kill me if she found out.
I threw a Asian down some stairs. It was Wong on so many levels.
Don't mistake my silence for weakness. No one plans a murder out loud.
Chuck Norris once put a plastic bag on his head, and the bag suffocated to death.
Brother: I bought my brother a trampoline today, the ungrateful fuck just sat in his wheelchair and cried.
Son - Dad, I've been expelled from school for having sex with a girl in my class.
Dad - Son, that's the 2nd school this year! Maybe teaching isn't for you!
I ate a clock yesterday. It was very time-consuming.
Why did Sally get to go to Hawaii for free?
She washed up on the beach.
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
Why did the squirrel do the backstroke?
He wanted to keep his nuts dry.
Are you enjoying my yolks? I bet they're making you crack up. If not, I better scramble.
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C.
Yo' mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
What do TVs and girls have in common?
They both show you stuff when you turn them on!
What's the difference between you and Hitler?
Hitler knew when to kill himself.
A mosquito with a Mario hat on flies on you saying, "It's-a me, Malario!"
Your mama's so fat, scientists found a new planet called Heranus.
So, a daughter asks her father, "Dad, what is your opinion on abortions?" Her father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?" The daughter responds, "But I don't have a sister... Oh."