Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure? -- A waist of time.
What's worse than a failed attempt at suicide?
The pity looks people give you and people keep you away from 'dangerous' things.
My arms are just a different texture pack compared to my body.
That time when you realize that Osama bin Laden and Carrie Underwood share the same birthday...
Q: Why should you stand in the corner if you get cold?
A: It’s always 90 degrees.
The day after Chuck Norris was born, he drove his mom home from the hospital.
Got the George Floyd pack, this shit makin' it hard to breathe.
I hear skeletons like to play the saxaBONE, though I think the tromBONE would be better, but tibia honest, both can be HUMERUS, wouldn't wanna hurt your funny bone, but I think your starting to get BONELY so I'll stop pulling your leg. Now get out before I give you a bad time.
Two pedophiles talking to each other:
"Do you got two fives for one ten?"
What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy children.
They should add an eleventh commandment to the Bible:
Thou shalt not f... altar boys.
A woman decides to take a well-earned vacation, and she asks her brother to watch her cat while she's away.
On the second day, when she calls her brother to see how things are going, he tells her bluntly that the cat is dead.
The woman is really upset and goes into hysterics, before saying, "You can't tell a person bad news so bluntly. You should break the news gently. The first day, you should have said that Fluffy was stuck on the roof and couldn't get down. The second day, you could have said that she had fallen, but the vet said she would be okay. Then on the third day, you could have said that she died from complications."
The next day, the woman calls her brother again and asks how things are. He says, "Well, Grandma is stuck on the roof and can't get down..."
What is a necrophiliac's favorite band?
Coldplay.
How do you pet a psychopath's cat?
You get it out of the microwave.
What goes 100mph and bounces up and down? A baby tied to the back of a truck.
What’s wrong with a gay bbq?
All the hotdogs taste like shit.
Stephen Hawking walked into a bar. Just kidding :(
My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a "two for one special."
1. What's the difference between Dark humor and Morbid humor? Dark humor is 10 babies in 1 trash can and Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
2. What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.
Why doesn't my egg want to crack?
Because I hate my egg-sistence.