Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a feminine cow?
A dairy queen.
Why did the strawberry cry? -- Because his mother was in a jam.
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes.
What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter, he isn't coming to you.
Today my stoner friend used my to-do list as a blunt wrap.
He was high on my list of priorities.
A man tried to shoot Adolf Hitler, but missed. Then Adolf replied, "Oh shoot, I did nazi that coming!"
Stop with the blind jokes... I don't see the point.
Which sex position produces the ugliest children?
Go ask your mother.
Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a corn field?
Because they are full of ears!
Now that was a corny joke.
And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing.
How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipses it!
What is the Harry Potter spell that aborts babies?
Fetus Deletus!
Today someone was killed with a starter pistol. Police think it might be race related.
A white dad, a priest, and a rabbi all run out a burning school, and the dad says, “What about the kids?” and the rabbi replies to him saying, “Fuck the kids,” and the priest says, “Think we got enough time?”
Patient: “Doctor, my bottom hurts.”
Doctor: “Can you tell me exactly where it hurts?”
Patient: “Right around the entrance.”
Doctor: “As long as you call it the entrance, it will hurt.”
What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?
Raped.
What do you call a bee that lives in America? A USB.
I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig.
A priest, a rapist, a pedophile, and a homosexual walk into a bar.
He orders a drink.
Teacher: What does a pig give you?
Little Johnny: Bacon.
Teacher: Good, what does the sheep give you?
Little Johnny: Wool.
Teacher: What does the fat cow give you?
Little Johnny: Homework and says "leave motherf*cker".
Someone butt-dialed me again yesterday. It seems that only assholes want to speak to me.