Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident.

They’ll hear the one word they hate the most: “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE!”

Why can orphans never be kidnapped?

No one can tell them that "your parents said that they would be delayed and I was told to pick you up."

You know how in Pinocchio the French puppets have the thigh rings?

Well, I got them too! Only red and thinner.

A depressed guy walks into a bar and says, "Can I get shot?"

The bartender then says, "You mean, can you get a shot, right?"

The bartender then says, "Well... what drink would you like?"

The depressed guy then responds with, "No, I really want to get shot."

My mom tells me when I get into an argument with her that she brought me into this world and she can take me out. Sometimes I wanna tell her that I can do that for her.

My girlfriend said onions were the only foods that make you cry.

Until I threw a watermelon in her face.

A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.

So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.

What is the difference between an orphan and a blind kid?

They both can’t see their parents. 😂😂😂😂😂

When I get suicidal, everyone worries. I don't know why because that is when I'm the happiest, thinking about death.

I was exploring a haunted mansion when I encountered a ghost named Pristiano Penaldo. He asked if I supported Burnley as he wanted to statpad against me. Luckily, I pulled out my trusty Liverpool shirt, and he disappeared. Shame on you, Penaldo.

Q: What is the difference between Austin Matthews and a priest?

A: One looks like a pedophile and one is a pedophile.