Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Sally get to go to Hawaii for free?
She washed up on the beach.
What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs?
One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
Why did the squirrel do the backstroke?
He wanted to keep his nuts dry.
What is a pirate's favorite letter?
You'd think it'd be R, but really his heart will always belong to the C.
Yo' mama is so fat, her cereal bowl comes with a lifeguard.
Are you enjoying my yolks? I bet they're making you crack up. If not, I better scramble.
What do TVs and girls have in common?
They both show you stuff when you turn them on!
Q: What's an orphan's favorite part of a website?
A: The homepage.
A mosquito with a Mario hat on flies on you saying, "It's-a me, Malario!"
Your mama's so fat, scientists found a new planet called Heranus.
So, a daughter asks her father, "Dad, what is your opinion on abortions?" Her father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?" The daughter responds, "But I don't have a sister... Oh."
If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? -- America.
What does the cannibal do after he dumps his girlfriend?
He wipes his butt.
What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one.
Wanna know why not to joke about 9/11? They usually crash the party.
My friend gave me sugar for my birthday. She thought it was cheap; I thought it was pretty sweet.
Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory?
For throwing out the W's.
Why don’t emo girls go to self checkout?
Because every time they scan, it scans twice.
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.
Why are there no Olympics in Mexico?
Because everyone from Mexico that can run, jump, and swim is already over the border.