Worst Jokes Ever
What do prime numbers and stoners have in common? The higher they are, the more spaced out they get.
Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide?
Dave: No.
Jason: Well, he hit his first target.
When I get naked in the shower, it gets turned on.
Why did the library book go to the doctor?
It needed to be checked out.
Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the bar? Because she heard the drinks were on the house.
You take care of chickens. Does that make you a chicken tender?
What's the difference between my dad and cancer? Cancer doesn't leave you.
Did you hear about the 100 centimeter girl?
I’d really like to meter.
You know, eBay sucks. I was looking for a lighter, and it gave me 18,906 matches.
What do JFK’s killer and a prostitute have in common?
“They both blow heads.”
Even a psychopath is sympathetic when an onion self-harms!
Guys, my sister's pregnant!
I'm finally a dad!
Police: Where do you live? Blonde: With my parents. Police: Where do your parents live? Blonde: With me. Police: Where do you all live? Blonde: Together. Police: Where is your house? Blonde: Next to my neighbor's house. Police: Where is your neighbor's house? Blonde: If I tell you, you won't believe me. Police: Tell me. Blonde: Next to my house.
Trees are so social. They're always branching out.
Random person: "Just turn the page and start over."
Me: "I'm not sure if you're telling me to be gay or uhhhh die but both are good options."
It's not pedophilia, it's early access.
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her at Halloween.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
They can never make it home.
What do you get when a cow is caught in an earthquake?
You get a milkshake!
How does a cow become invisible? -- Through camooflage.