Worst Jokes Ever
Girls are like blackjack; you shoot for 21, but I keep hitting 14.
Where can you find some of the world's largest vegetables? -- In an American nursing home.
What did the guy exclaim after inventing the shovel?
It is ground breaking!
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret.
What do you get when you cross a vacuum and a rooster?
A cock sucker.
What makes a joke a dad joke?
I don't know. I don't even have one as an example.
How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?
When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.
Why can't two Asians make a white kid?
Because two wongs don't make a white.
Why can't skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
How you feel when you slit yourself once: :(
How you feel when you slit yourself more than once: <:(
How you feel when you slit yourself everyday: *dead inside*
Me: Hey, do you want to see my grandma?
Friend: Yeah, sure.
Me: *pulls out gun*
If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents.
Once I tried to catch some fog.
I mist.
I used to be a banker but I lost interest.
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She always ran away from the ball.
Why can’t bikes stand? Because they are two tired (Too tired).
I just found out I'm colorblind. It came out of the yellow.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
My mom is the jelly, and my dad is the peanut butter. And I am the bread, the only thing keeping them together.
What's a Mexican's favorite sport?
Cross country.
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf?
A: Blue cheese.
"Chuck? How many push-ups can you do?" -- "All of them."