Worst Jokes Ever

I know five fat people, and you're three of them.

What is Hitler's least favorite month?

Jewly.

What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? -- "Bison."

What did the pedophile say when he got out of prison?

I feel like a kid again.

A man asks a woman, "Are you a school?"

The woman replies, "No, why?"

The man says, "Oh, I wanted to shoot my kid inside of you."

Why did the tomato blush? -- Because it saw the salad dressing.

Better to cum in the sink... than to sink in the cum.

Why are emo jokes so infamous?

They cut deep.

Yo mama so stupid she threw a Mother's Day party at an orphanage.

They say masturbation is better with a dead arm. Apparently, I ruined that funeral.

What do you call a cute door?

Adoorable.

If trees could kill you, they wood.

Russian history in 5 words: "And then things got worse."

What's the difference between eggs and you? Eggs get laid, you don't.

What do you call a nose without a body? -- Nobody knows.

What is Jesus's favorite exercise?

Cross Fit.

Why does Peter Pan always fly? Because he Neverlands.

You're so poor, people break into your house and leave things.

How did Stephen Hawking please his woman? He uses a hard drive.

The teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin, but the sky can also be blue or black," the teacher replied.

Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him and picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally, she called on him. "Mine's more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no, Johnny, why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well, if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."