Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama's so stupid that she studied for her eye test.
How does a blind person know when a skydive has finished?
The dog lead went slack.
What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
One says “Ribbit, Ribbit” and the other says “Rub it, Rub it”.
Yo mama so old, she knew Burger King when he was a prince.
What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a bicycle and a badly dressed man on a unicycle? Attire.
After a lord comes back from vacation, he meets the gardener at the gates of his park.
Lord: "Has something happened while I was gone?"
Gardener: "Ah, nothing much, I just broke a shovel while I was burying your dog."
Lord: "My dog died?!"
Gardener: "Yes, it choked on the smoke when your mansion burnt down."
Lord: "My mansion?! How?!"
Gardener: "Well, your wife was distraught and dropped a candle on the curtains."
Lord: "Why was she so distraught?"
Gardener: "She received the news of your daughter being kidnapped."
Lord: "My daughter! Don't you have any positive news for me?!"
Gardener: "Oh right! Your cancer test results!"
What is the difference between a cat and a complex sentence?
A cat has claws at the end of its paws. A complex sentence has a pause at the end of its clause.
Did you ever receive an anonymous blowjob from another male under the handicapped stall inside the public men's restroom at a rest area and did you have an orgasm and was it the best orgasm that you ever had?
I am a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
What was the last thing to go through JFK's mind?
A bullet.
Why can’t you ever trick an aborted baby?
Because it wasn’t born yesterday. 🤭
Why did the democrats come out of the closet as assholes after they found out that Rush Limbaugh died? Because they don't fear him anymore.
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: It gets beat by the cops on a daily basis.
My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex...
I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came.
Whenever I have a one night stand, I always use protection.
A fake name and a fake phone number.
What is it called when you hit your funny bone at night?
Dark humor.
Jesus and his disciples walk into a restaurant.
Jesus: "A table for 26, please." Headwaiter: "But there's only... 13 of you?" Jesus: "Yeah, we're all going to sit on the same side."
What is Helen Keller's favorite color?
Velcro.
Dead people jokes are the best, they're ground breaking.
What would MLK Junior be if he was white?.........Alive.