Worst Jokes Ever
How do emos propose?
"Would you like to join my family tree?"
So I was sitting on the couch with a woman, and I asked her, "Does this napkin smell like chloroform?"
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
Jokes are like people. Some don't like the dark ones.
Look, I'm innocent. I was just going on vacation in NY, but my co-pilot said: "Hit it with your best shot."
How 9/11 Happened!:
Hey Bush, Truth or dare?
What did the Hiroshima survivor say about the day Little Boy dropped? "It was a blast!"
After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "What are you going to do now?"
God said, "I think I'm going to call it a day."
The past, the present, and the future walk into a bar.
It was tense.
Rape jokes are like your dad's dick. You don't want it but you still get it anyway.
Yo mama's so fat that she doesn't need the internet because she is already worldwide.
Why did little sally fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.
What did sally get for Christmas?
Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box.
What did Hitler say after his parents bought a hauler?
How much did the haulla-cost?
How much of a homophobic heterosexual man are you? I'm so homophobic I won't suck a big dick that has ketchup on it.
Chuck Norris sleeps with the light on, not because he is afraid of the darkness, but because the darkness is afraid of him.
Three men are traveling through the desert when their single camel dies. They walk for a while, but then it becomes night. Desperate for shelter, they suddenly stumble across a tent, and inside are three beautiful women. The men were not only lost but horny, too, so they begin to have sex with the women. But the tent belongs to a prince, and these three women were his wives, so he is very angry when he arrives an hour later and sees three strangers having sex with his wives. He tells the three men he will chop off their penises as punishment, in some way relating to their job. He asks the first man what his job is:
The guy says, "I'm a fireman."
The prince says, "Then we'll burn your dick off!"
The second guy says, "I'm an employee at the shooting range."
The prince says, "Then we'll shoot your dick off!"
The third guy smiles and says, "I'm a lollipop salesman."
When the chair was invented, the inventor's friend wanted to know what it did. The inventor replied: "You might want to sit down for this."
If a midget walks up to you and tells you your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
Johnny: Mommy, Mommy! What is incest?
Mom: Shut up and keep licking.
Me and my girlfriend were planning on having sex, but I said me and my little brother share a bunk bed and he’s on the bottom. She said tell him we’re making sandwiches so we came up with a plan. "Tomato" means harder and "cheese" means faster. So we were having sex and she was screaming, "Tomato, tomato, tomato, cheese, cheese, cheese," then my little brother said, "Can y’all stop making sandwiches? You're getting mayonnaise all over my bed."