Worst Jokes Ever
What's the same with a toilet and anal sex? Your ass gets numb after a while.
Q: Why did frosty pull down his pants?
A: He heard the snowblower coming.
Why are babies called bundles of joy?
When you break the bundle, it gives you joy.
Why is the lesbian lifestyle so expensive? -- They're always eating out.
... and they buy Rolexes for their neighbors, because they wanna watch.
What did the nut chasing the other nut say? "I'mma cashew!"
How do you punish Helen Keller?
You leave the plunger in the toilet.
The Pentagon is changing the nuclear codes to over 140 characters, ...
so Trump can't tweet it.
I know you don’t like rape jokes, but I’m gonna force one on you anyway.
Why can't an orphan play Family Feud? Because it has to have a family.
Wanna hear a good joke?
My dad’s love for me.
What did the sex offender frog say to the other sex offender frog when a hot frog passed them?
Rrrrrapeit!
You: Say "addicted" after everything I say.
Person: Uh okay.
You: When you're obsessed with candy you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: When you're obsessed with drugs you are...?
Person: Addicted.
You: What hit you in the face last night?
Person: Addicted... *laughs*
(It's supposed to sound like "A dick did")
That awkward moment you try to relate to Batman by killing your parents.
When your friend asks why you don't smile, then you look at them and realize no one is there because you have no friends. #my life
What is an alien's favourite chocolate?
A Mars bar.
What did the beaver say to his son?
Dam, son.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why?
To get to the idiot's house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Once I saw a mirror... and that was when I got the ability to become a ghost.
What do you call a cow who plays an instrument? -- A moosician.
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles. Once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, the snail said, "I don't know, it all happened too fast!"