Worst Jokes Ever
I wanted to tell an animal joke but it's irrelephant.
My girlfriend and I often laugh about how competitive we are... But I laugh more.
When deaf people fight, they let their fists do the talking.
Why do priests appreciate educated children?
They don't spit.
What is the most popular fish in the ocean? "A starfish."
Did you hear about the man who ran in front of the bus? He got tired.
What's the difference between Hitler and Logan Paul? At least Hitler had respect for the Japanese!
My friends used to poke me at weddings and say, "You're next."
So I started poking them at funerals and saying, "You're next" to my friends.
What do you call a Mexican Baptism?
Bean Dip.
What's the difference between my dad and cancer? Cancer doesn't leave you.
What do you call a Russian tree?
Dimitree.
Death once had a near Chuck Norris experience...
The secret to dark humor is the delivery... oh wait, the baby was stillborn.
Today my EX got trampled by a bunch of horses, and sadly I lost my job as a horse trainer.
Why do lawyers use Viagra? To grow taller.
Max likes his girls like he likes his wine. 7 years old and locked in his basement.
Guys, my sister's pregnant!
I'm finally a dad!
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Where you left it.
A guy is at home and he's about to go get a physical at the doctor's office. When he gets there, the doctor says, "Brian, you're going to have to stop masturbating." He asked the doc why? The doc said, "So I can examine you!"
What's a school shooter's favorite anime?
Assassination Classroom.