Worst Jokes Ever
Me: I have lost it.
Random: Lost what?
Me: My will to live.
Got the George Floyd pack, this shit makin' it hard to breathe.
I'm jealous of your heart because it's pumping in you and I'm not.
What did a cannibal have as his last meal?
Five guys.
My favorite toast for parties:
May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what hits first?
His lawnmower.
What do you call a Catholic priest who molests children?
A Catholic priest.
Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? Because she always ran away from the ball.
What do you need in order to crash a train?
A bad track record.
Yo mama's so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
When the school shooter leaves your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
Why do people not play Uno with Mexicans? Because they are always stealing the green cards.
I've decided to marry a pencil. I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
A baby in 10 trash cans.
A baby skunk's mother gets hit by a car, so the baby skunk doesn't know what he is.
So the baby skunk walks up to a baby bunny and asks, "What are you?" The baby bunny replies, "Well, I'm a baby bunny. What are you?" The baby skunk says, "Well, I don't know, am I a baby bunny too?"
The baby bunny says, "No, you're not a baby bunny." So the baby skunk asks, "Well, what am I then?"
The baby bunny replies, "Well, you're not exactly blank and you're not exactly white, so you must be Mexican."
What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”
What did the mentally retarded kid get on his test?
Drool.
I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.
My friend was a victim of a school shooting once, but he couldn't tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his AR.
English is weird. It can be understood through tough, thorough thought, though.