Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?

A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

It didn't, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down.

My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.

I liked my life when I first got it... Later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.

How are giants and strippers alike?

They both grind men's bones to make their bread.

A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing.

Man: "Ah, suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump?" Lady: "Yep. I hate this world." Man: "Well, if you're gonna die, can we have sex before you jump?" Lady: "Hell no! You creep!" Man: "Ok, fine. I guess I'll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore."

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  • Sans: Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?

    Papyrus: Because they looked like me?

    Sans: ... Sure.

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  • Q: Why was the leper hockey game cancelled?

    A: There was a face off in the corner.

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  • My friend: "Yo, stupid."

    Me: "Is that right? And what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?"

    My friend: *rolls eyes* and says, "Whatever."

    Me: "Keep on rolling them; you might find your brain in there."

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  • What's the difference between a teacher and a train?

    The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"

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  • Best friend: Dude, your sister is hot, I'd hit that.

    Me: Already did. SWEET HOME ALABAMA

    What's the difference between an American 12-year-old and an African 12-year-old? About 40 pounds.

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  • What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common?

    You were bloody and battered but at least your dad came.

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