Worst Jokes Ever
Q: What does a dead prostitute and a swimming pool have in common?
A: They're both cold when you first get in, but warm up after a few strokes.
What does Frosty the snowman eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down.
My dad posted a picture of his condom challenge fail to his social media - it was a picture of me.
I liked my life when I first got it... Later they said no because I didn’t have the receipt.
How are giants and strippers alike?
They both grind men's bones to make their bread.
Why do tigers have stripes? They don't want to be spotted.
A retard won a break-dancing competition. All he did was go to get a drink.
A man is walking on a bridge and sees a lady over the railing.
Man: "Ah, suicidal eh? Are you gonna jump?" Lady: "Yep. I hate this world." Man: "Well, if you're gonna die, can we have sex before you jump?" Lady: "Hell no! You creep!" Man: "Ok, fine. I guess I'll just wait until your corpse washes onto the shore."
Sans: Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Papyrus: Because they looked like me?
Sans: ... Sure.
I can see Uranus from here, and it's mighty gassy!
Q: Why was the leper hockey game cancelled?
A: There was a face off in the corner.
My friend: "Yo, stupid."
Me: "Is that right? And what exactly have you done in your lifetime that makes you Einstein?"
My friend: *rolls eyes* and says, "Whatever."
Me: "Keep on rolling them; you might find your brain in there."
What's the difference between humans and bullets?
Humans miss John Lennon.
How's Donald Trump going to get rid of all the Mexicans? -- Juan by Juan.
What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
The teacher says, "Spit out your gum," but a train says, "Chew chew!"
Hippity hoppity, Hiroshima, Nagasaki.
Best friend: Dude, your sister is hot, I'd hit that.
Me: Already did. SWEET HOME ALABAMA
What's the difference between an American 12-year-old and an African 12-year-old? About 40 pounds.
What does your first football game and your first time having sex have in common?
You were bloody and battered but at least your dad came.