Worst Jokes Ever
You can't be a loser if you have nothing to lose.
How do Mexicans feel about Trump's wall? -- They'll get over it.
When your sad don’t feel down about yourself break someone’s leg and laugh.
Two men are in a rainforest, and one of them is peeing. Suddenly, a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the man’s penis. The other man says, “Oh my God, I will go to a doctor immediately!” He didn’t have enough time to load the man into the car, so he went straight to the hospital. The man told the doctor what happened, and the doctor said, “You will have to make an incision at the wound and suck the poison out.” The man went back to the other man and said, “There is no hope, you will die.”
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a plastic bag? One's made of plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other carries groceries.
What do you call an all-you-can-eat buffet for a pedophile? A school bus.
My friend, while we are shopping and I'm telling her about my mental illness: "You're priceless."
When we get to the checkout: "I'm actually $2.50."
What happened to the blind man's son?
He thought he was hitting a piñata.
How did they know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment...
A young boy was picked up by a strange young man who put him in his car and drove into an abandoned farm.
"This place looks scary," the kid said.
And the man replies, "I know right, I have to walk out of there alone."
If I hung myself from a cliff, would people call me a cliffhanger?
One thing that Johnny Depp and Michael Jackson love to do? Sniff on little white crack.
Why are heterosexual women jealous of gay men?
because gay men can perform fellatio on men better than they can.
What do you call it when a midget waves at you?
A microwave.
How do trees get online? -- They just log in.
What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?
Nothing.
What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? -- Meals on wheels.
Teacher: "You can't be here after school without a parent!"
Orphan: -no response-
Why can't orphans go on an away trip? Because they already are on one.
Me: Want to play 911?
My little brother: What's that?
Me: It's where I kick your legs and you fall.